10pfrw06's profile
AGE:
49
LOC: Trevor, WI
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 10
LOC: Trevor, WI
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 10
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Version 1
3 Reviews
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As I begun my fourth week at the hospital, it was announced at a group therapy session that we would be taking a day trip put into the community by the end of the week. This was like icing on the cake as the reports that my doctor and all the therapists were stating was that my emotional health seemed to be on a upswing. I was feeling fairly optimistic in what seemed to be a long time, although deep down I had sense it was a combination of medication and my insurance running out. After supper...
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Your use of descriptive are fantastic as I could really feel this piece. The imagery is quite clear and flows very nicely.
An incredible job at this story. I was a little confused at the beginning as it seemed to jump around quite a bit, but the detail that you used was awesome. The line "Time slowed down as she sprinted across the lawn," paint an very vivid picture. Though I think it would be interesting to develop Lauriana's character a little deeper and it seemed to end very quickly.
A great job of using simple, but very descriptive images to paint a vivid image. I like the way you basically a life span from simple carefree days to wondering if the past will return. Your last line sums it all up"The wonders of simple acts." Great job.
A very provactive image and aonly using six words. It leaves the reader the reader wondering if the writer is right side up for the world or making changes in the writer's life to see the world more clearly.
I enjoyed your use of descriptive words as the painted a very clear picture. Particular the line"from his toothless chin like oceans foam" is a very vivid image. I also like how you used everyday types of things to communicate such as: candles,mosquito's,other boys,etc. A great job.
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