1ben's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 15
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 15
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Items
Version 1
10 Reviews
4 Comments
Pavement Dancing Sleepy head eyes stutter open and get accustomed to a new day. Only it’s not a new day, is it Dan, it’s 6 p.m of the same day. Everything’s topsy-turvy, snotty morning gunk in my eyes while the sun goes down. It was about 6 a.m when I finally got to sleep, so that’s twelve hours kip, which ain’t bad, despite the undeniably bizarre feeling of waking up just as the day has finished. Better phone Chris before I do anything. Ah, look at that, yawning! But I’m not goin’ back to be...
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Clearly homophobic and offensive. There is no depth or beauty or anything really meaningful about this poem other than a clear political stance and negative opinion of Obama.
0.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I found this very beautiful in its description, and the spare, conscice use of language was good. I really don't think there is any specific critisicm i have of it - despite appreciating your not wanting vague reviews. However, there is one point I think needs addressing: the lack of information on the cause of the shirt-wearers absence; is it a broken relationship, a death... I think some suggestion of this to the reader would add more solidity to the poem. Also, if the man had just left the...
The shift in this poem from up to downbeat is very quick! It is conscise in its job; to show the beauty of a rose and the awe of the moon suddenly crash to the ephemera of the seasons and ashes - no doubt alluding in metaphor to a relationship and its end. It is good for what it is, but I find it a little cliched in its content and use of imagery; it is too blatant and there is not enough subtelty in really describing whatever moment or emotion you are trying to unpack into prose. I think tha...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
This poem has a very gothic feel, also something of the demented scientist/doctor recluse in it, with many allusions to anasthetic, prozac, inter-cranial etc. It is very downbeat in its content, but very rich in its use of language. Images such as 'graveyard of memory' and 'scattered bones of yesterdays trust' point to the idea of a hurt lover never recovered from one or several broken relationships. I havent read the poem you mention it was inspired by, but is clearly 'of a genre.' I enjoyed...
I like the popular culture references and cheap and cheery pace to this poem, but I also find it pretty trite, with the girlfriend in question being downplayed to the point of a cheap and subservient slave to a pretty vacuous and shauvinist boyfriend.
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