84princess's profile
AGE:
24
LOC: Colorado Springs, CO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 23
LOC: Colorado Springs, CO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 23
23 year old mother of 3 tiny boys who are my world. Most of my stuff is dark, hard to understand and very personal. I am new at showing other people my work, I usually keep it hidden but my sister told me that I should try this out. I would have a picture of me up there but I don’t have one on my computer. The end.
Items
Version 1
84 Reviews
28 Comments
Writhing in a blanket of all that is impure and unholy. I am stuck in this hell drowning in my sorrows and suffocating in my fears.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
60 Reviews
23 Comments
Naked and cold in the rain all alone I sit there and wonder their fate. I push and I and struggle but to their delight I get no where. My children have become their's and their abuse have become my children's. So small and sweet and innocent they sit there and watch, they take it and cry for me Mommy mommy they cry but I cannot come, they have been stolen from me. I search and look and hope and pray but God is no where to be found. My children are missing and so is my soul and my heart is dea...
Ratings & Rankings
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Reviews
I love it, it is perfectly clear and I don't think you should change a thing.
I was well written and cute, I really like it. I hope to see more of your writing in the future.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I thought it was decent. It didn't have much flow and it seemed to be moving a little more quickly than it really should, kind of like you were trying to fit a lot more in this than should have been there. However the dialog was realistic, and the idea was unique. I just don't think that it is something I would enjoy reading if I had a choice between this and something else. I believe that you have talent but I don't believe you put all your talent and emotion into this piece. You must rememb...
It was decent, you might want to go through once to check the punctuation, but other than that it was good.
33.3333% Review Quality (3 Votes)
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