Well done. I would suggest perhaps describing what happened after Daemon mocked his friend, as well as who's eyes were the color of warm honey. When you mention two in a sentence it can be confusing (At least, to me). So I wasn't sure who's eyes were honey. I also wasn't sure until rereading the next paragraph, what was going on that suddenly involved guards and grass snakes. Perhaps a little more description of the tumble is in need. Keep it up! I read one part of this one and I look forward...

The lack of capitalization really takes away from the readability of this peice. I heavily reccomend capitalizing where appropriate. Just because its a journal/blog entry, it should still follow proper rules, especially if you're posting it where others can read it! All in all, very interesting musings. One of the things people do worse is wait though. I hope good things come to you, and indeed -it BETTER be good for all that waiting!

Very nice. Very sad too. It hurts doesnt it? I think that 'On' should have the first letter capitalized, if not the first letter of every line. It would make it a little neater in appearance. The rythm and pattern is very good and I find little wrong with it.

The accent is a little bit too hard to understand. Perhaps saying 'in an accented voice' with a few 'des' thrown in would be much better, I think. I am not sure she should be able to see his face either... isnt she following him? Unless he turned, his back would be to her. Also, instead of repeating the entire 'robot' part of the discussion, perhaps say 'and that brought them to where they were now, standing off'. Mayhaps leave off with the spatter of blood? Its a good point I think for the s...

THe metaphors are interesting. A lot of the time I think that one should keep metaphors (Swim naked in the warmth of your seduction) to a minimum, or do a mix. The style of speaking really appeals to me, as it is a tricky thing to do. You have a lot of promise in this way, although it could use tightening up. However, well written and I enjoyed reading it! An idea you could do is copy-paste it when you submit the item. Then you can format it into proper verse! I do that with my stories!

Teeny missing punctuation: fifth paragraph, last line: should have a period on the end! The amount of cursing, while understandable and 'in character' I think would be much better if some was merely mentioned in narration 'The man cursed fluently and frequently, before exclaiming "Where's my money?!" However, considering the theme so far I dont see it as a BIG problem. I reccomend giving us more information at the beginning of who the Crimson Knights are. Actual knights/warriors? A gang? A pe...

I do not read much flash fiction, tbh. Its not in my taste. But this is well written and I found little wrong with it. The ending chilled me a little bit... if that is what you are going for then it worked VERY well. I felt very bad for Jacob. Felt sorry for him. The story moved me. Critique wise, I think the fifth paragraph could use a description of HOW the members were moving towards him - IE, omniously, carefully, etc? Also, the number of F-bombs seens really high (But it may be just me)....

Very interesting. I am thinking pregnant bellied needs a - between it, but I'm not too sure. Maybe look into it to see if it should? Also, I am skeptical that TWO women would leave him due to a lazy eye. Obviously those women did not actually love him... wanted him for his money perhaps? That makes sense if I think of it that way. Its still farfetched though as if they wanted the money badly enough to marry some one they didnt know, they'd not care about a lazy eye. The end was... VERY much a...

Very nice. Short, but all haikus are. I can find nothing wrong with it except... the double E line looks a little funny... that and Ephemeral is a tough word (I had to look it up). Has much hope and promise though.