A_Silly_Lady_Novelist's profile

AGE: 17
LOC: Newnan, GA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 10

3/29/02 Story added: “From the Heavens the Stars Fought”

3/23/08 First of all, thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed my stories. I’m going to be turning off reviews for a while so I can build up my credits and do some rewrites of my stories. I’ll most likely be putting some new stuff up soon, as well as new versions of “Those Old Midwinter Cliches” and “That the Sword of Enthusiasm.” I hope you’ll all check out my upcoming stuff! Thanks!

Also, any writers out there need to sign up for NaNoWriMo! It’s a fun, quantity-not-quality exercise to write 50,000 (Yes, 50,000!) words in the month of November. Check out nanowrimo.org If you do, make sure to look me up! I’m A Silly Lady Novelist over there too. (No underscor…

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Items

Version 1

11 Reviews 0 Comments

The onset was swift, the shade of the palm tree fading into a small tent set by a gurgling river. A young boy swung a hammer, beating on a piece of metal. A girl around the same age, her eyes the unusual color of jade, crept into the tent, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck and causing him to drop the hammer. He whirled around in the surprise, then smiled at the girl. Just as he was about to stroke a stand of her glossy hair, a sword appeared in his chest, seemingly going straight threw...

Talent - Overall

Short Story - Overall

Version 3

16 Reviews 4 Comments

Brody slid into the first seat he saw, wanting to get settled before the doors shut and the stragglers were forced to miss the class. He was at the end of the row; to his right was a girl with her red hair pulled in a bun so tight Brody imagined it was pulling the skin away from her scalp. She gave him a cursory glance, and for the hundredth time that day Brody felt himself not belonging. The professor hurrumphed and thirty pairs of eyes honed in on his face. “Welcome to Philosophy 101. My ...

Publishable - Overall

Talent - Overall

Short Story - Overall

Version 1

11 Reviews 1 Comment

Earl wiped down the counter for what seemed like the hundredth time, even though there had been no actual business to get it dirty. Most men would have given up and gone home already; trying to sell ice cream during a New York snow storm was like trying to sell a skateboard to an arthritic grandmother. Not totally impossible, but not a business one could really rely on to bring home the bacon, either. Still, Earl Anson Golding III, owner, proprietor, and sole employee of Earl’s Swirls Ice Cr...

Talent - Overall

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Reviews

by IronSyndicate

I really liked this piece overall, and enjoyed the snapshots of all the characters in a such a short space. Some I was left wondering about, like why Tobias is treated bettter. There were a few tense issues, like "try to read them," might sound better as "trying. . . ," and "She comes. . ." as "she came," and "so it will not blow away. . ." as "so it wouldn't blow away. . . ." I also really liked the circular feeling of this story; he's watching people and wants to be watched. Good job!

by Zeke

I really liked the general format of this. I enjoyed the italics, because I thought that it added a nice bit of perspective to the story. Also, I enjoy the short descriptions. What didn't really work for me was the first speaker; the dialogue sounded a bit overformal and unnatural. Other than that, good job. Keep writing!

by squarehopper

I loved the twist ending; I expected to have the parents sitting sternly on the couch, wanting to have a "talk." I liked the descripitions at the beginning, very vivid. The only minor thing was that the beginning makes it sound like he has the drugs already in posession, not at home. Other than that, it was a great flash.

by yesandno

Hmm. I like this, but I'm having a hard time pointing exactly what it is that draws me in (Not that I'm trying to say your writing is bad; not at all.) I love the description of the girl's skin inside out, and the parallel "heart breaks." A few minor things that seemed off to me: the "said he" in the beginning, and the semantics "is" comfortable. (I did like the glimpse of the girl's character you gave us by saying she likes semantics, though.) Your use of the narrator is interesting; in a wa...

by PhoebeRaven

As more of a character study writer myself, I absolutely loved the detail orientation of this story. You've managed to make the story flow incredibly well, which is usually a hard thing to do with long sentences. I particularly loved the description early in the piece that talks about the black looking eyes. There were one or two places that broke the flow a little bit, like the sentence that starts with "Every person" might sound better like "We look into the eyes of every person that happen...

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