An interesting flash; I like the way you describe the deer swinging their antlers. Maybe in "List avenue," avenue should be capitalized? Also, love the last sentence! Good job!

As more of a character study writer myself, I absolutely loved the detail orientation of this story. You've managed to make the story flow incredibly well, which is usually a hard thing to do with long sentences. I particularly loved the description early in the piece that talks about the black looking eyes. There were one or two places that broke the flow a little bit, like the sentence that starts with "Every person" might sound better like "We look into the eyes of every person that happen...

Hmm. I like this, but I'm having a hard time pointing exactly what it is that draws me in (Not that I'm trying to say your writing is bad; not at all.) I love the description of the girl's skin inside out, and the parallel "heart breaks." A few minor things that seemed off to me: the "said he" in the beginning, and the semantics "is" comfortable. (I did like the glimpse of the girl's character you gave us by saying she likes semantics, though.) Your use of the narrator is interesting; in a wa...

I loved the twist ending; I expected to have the parents sitting sternly on the couch, wanting to have a "talk." I liked the descripitions at the beginning, very vivid. The only minor thing was that the beginning makes it sound like he has the drugs already in posession, not at home. Other than that, it was a great flash.

I really liked the general format of this. I enjoyed the italics, because I thought that it added a nice bit of perspective to the story. Also, I enjoy the short descriptions. What didn't really work for me was the first speaker; the dialogue sounded a bit overformal and unnatural. Other than that, good job. Keep writing!

I really liked this piece overall, and enjoyed the snapshots of all the characters in a such a short space. Some I was left wondering about, like why Tobias is treated bettter. There were a few tense issues, like "try to read them," might sound better as "trying. . . ," and "She comes. . ." as "she came," and "so it will not blow away. . ." as "so it wouldn't blow away. . . ." I also really liked the circular feeling of this story; he's watching people and wants to be watched. Good job!

Ellipses aside, I enjoyed this. The imagery of the bum was nicely done, as well as the arriving-early-for-the-station part. I would've liked to see a description of Stan, but other than that, it was pretty cool. Nice job!

Oooh, I really like this one. It's clear in one it means, yet there's a world of possibility behind the words. Nice job!

This is odd and weird and bizarre and yet I love it. The guy constantly thinking of algebra references was awesome, particularly the one at the end (and your title is really eye catching!), and the way it relates to the story. You really gave a nice flash of the character in such a short amount of space, but I kind of wish you'd explained why algebra is David's life. Anyway, nice story!

I really like this because it offers so many possibilities. To me, it shows the desperation that most writers have to have their work shown, no matter if they benefit from it or not. I think it might make a little more impact if you didn't capitalize sell; it makes soul seem more important. Good job with it though!