Absorb's profile

Absorb avatar
AGE: 28
LOC: Kersey, CO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 01

Feedback very welcome.

Cheers!

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
4 Reviews   1 Comment
Well that old band wagon creeps by so slow with its boomerang and cane pulling folks from each side of the curb. It’s misplaced in this metropolis but they don’t know it, following like children in night gowns whose bones become ridged as the Piper injects national alignment. They move like techno dancers in this newest dance craze soon they’ll be voting for the treasure chest,. working their way up the corporate step stool tossing crackers to India or Viet Nam. They will believe The Man when...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / On Identity
Version 1
5 Reviews   2 Comments
my appearance has hijacked my identity shhhhh . . . don't tell the americans they might bomb my fifth cousin (I hear she sleeps around!)
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
7 Reviews   10 Comments
The Rinse Cycle Perhaps it was for shock value that they burned them; it was a different wash cycle then. They hung them out, on the line to hang and dangle; to let a cool draft stimulate their peaks. When we talk about them now (implanting silicone— lifting and parting them pertly— pulling and tucking— chipping away the bones worked meticulously to spread— without guilt— until knees stained green— the same as the earth the same as autonomy) we talk of milking and mechanics. The functionality...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
7 Reviews   3 Comments
Tarmac: My Coquette I didn’t turn the radio on, instead I listened. Listened to the road under the wheels of the car. Felt the vibration of the asphalt come through the equipment beneath me like it’s ardent ruts were thrusting into the folds of my vagina. Moist—listening harder & harder still, to catch phrases of paint shouting, waiting for sweet nothings—but they continued to talk dirty to me. Moving sharp snow was blinding, universal ejaculation spraying my [face—windshield] with the unforg...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
19 Reviews   2 Comments
Panties I don’t wear panties because I need to breathe. Because each time I try to inhale, the air is constricted when they are on. I cannot bear satin or lace there is nothing sultry about what I say, or think or move; no empowerment in concealing the door to my Self. Soft white cotton placed specifically perpetuating the rhetoric that my vagina should be pure and dry and untouched. Subservient fabric gathers and pinches in my folds, dictating my socialization, my pedagogy. I need to feel da...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Wow, fantastic job. really loved it!
Poetry / Voyeurism
I really like this poem. Sex screams through this piece for me . . . . word choices such as "molesting open-ended" and "adultress" of course voyerurism. The only suggestions I could make for this piece is that perhaps you might add some additional pro-nouns. As it is right now, it's a little choppy--Perhpas you want that? Not sure. However I will say that I think it might be confusing if one doesn't read the notes you provided for the reviewer. Something a little like: In these sweat-shop fun...
I very rarely score a poem this high, but I truly think this piece is beautiful. I find a eloquent truth woven through this poem, that I relate with and also despise; the point of the poem I'm sure. The only change I might consider is removing the word "and" from the third line and adding a colon at the end of the fourth. I think you have captured a harsh reality here but have chosen the language that makes it beauty. My favorite lines?--I'm dying to share: wet with wanton perspiration, waiti...
Poetry / War
I like this piece although I think it's important when writing Haiku not to repeat words ie "Dancers". Other than that I think it conveys the image you intended. One more thing, and that's that the title is somewhat bland, explanatory, but bland. Best of luck!
Poetry / Wet Jazz
Wow, I wish I could do more to critique this piece, but to be honest, I love it. The stanza I think I like the best is, "We took a thunderstorm as gold/and called ourselves children./ Come on Annie!/Let us drench ourselves in vehemence. Beautiful piece!!!
People