Absynthe's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Fort Worth, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 16
LOC: Fort Worth, TX
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 16
Oh, Urbis, it has been a while, but I’m back.
Alright, I’m a 5’9” blonde college student. I’m originally from Illinois/Wisconsin, then moved to Texas, and am now attending college in Virginia, so I’ve been around a bit, haha.
My big goal is to at some point be publishing books and making a living that way, but I don’t know yet if those books will be fiction, non-fiction, or poetry. We’ll have to wait and see!
What else? Hmm… friends are good. I try to keep up with review requests when I can, and the more constructive criticism I can receive, the better. I am young, and know I have a lot to learn, and therefore am open to whatever people have to teach me! : )
Items
Version 1
1 Review
2 Comments
Remember the moments when we were together, Still in our houses as hope lingered outside. Murders solved, plans plotted and forgotten, and empty chairs sat by the window, waiting. Curiosity was tempting, but even more so Was the safety found by the fiery hearth. In a home smelling of oatmeal and garlic and cheese, Who would seek to leave when All worth discovering rested inside?
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review
6 Comments
At the neighborhood park, I once claimed the nook Between the open field and river bend, And often I liked to sit and look – From behind the trees that read my book Over my shoulder, never revealing the end, And shaded my afternoon naps in the nook – And watch the passers-by on foot, Or scooters or bikes, as was the trend, Noticing that they would rarely look To see the girl across the crook Of the creek, beyond where the trees could extend, Taking notes from within the noo...
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Version 1
23 Reviews
15 Comments
You told yourself you loved her more. As you laid in bed crying yourself to sleep, you made a silent promise that she mattered more to you than any guy ever could. She is your best friend, you whispered. You pledged to step aside and let her have him even if it could break your heart. It did. That first moment you saw them together you had to leave the room. They held hands and you flinched. He kissed her cheek and you had to look away. You walked in on them in a moment of tangled limbs and h...
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Version 1
10 Reviews
0 Comments
Black pepper is the most disgusting spice on the planet. At least, that is what I thought as a young child. I never saw the purpose that it served as it sat in its shaker next to the salt on the table. My older sister, Laura, used to play a nasty little game with me. She would tell me to close my eyes, which I always did obediently, and then ask me to point at one of the shakers on the table. I would point, not knowing if my finger aimed at the salt or pepper, and then she would hand one to m...
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Version 1
45 Reviews
6 Comments
Tools. Letters. Phrases. Pieces. Fragments. Nothing. Everything. Words. They are perceived to have meaning. They have no physical effect. Yet, somehow, they are capable of ripping one’s very soul into pieces. They cause wars. They cause death. They cause the separation of families, best friends, and lovers. They caused him to walk out my door. I did not mean it. Any of it. I was angry. I was tired. I was upset. But I did not want him to leave. I did not want to be alone. He was late. He was a...
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I like the tone of this poem, but I am definitely of the opinion that even poetry still needs to be grammatically correct. So with that in mind, it should be "thoughts / that *shift* me to unbalance" and rather than "I lye in a dead end" you'll either want "lie" or "lay." I wish I could tell you which of those two is correct, but I always get it mixed up myself. What I do know is the "lye" is a specific type of aqueous solution, so I'm pretty sure that's not what you were going for. ; ) On th...
I found this under poetry, do you not have it listed under lyrics? If not, I'm confused as to why. Instead of "She at" you want "She's at," I believe, unless that was a stylistic choice. Also, instead of "I can't stop shaking and their laughing some more" the correct word is "they're" if you mean "they are laughing some more." And I believe you have an unnecessary "it" in front of "make it stop." Personally, I don't like the extra commentary you put at the beginning and the end. The poetry is...
I've never heard "muse" used as a verb, are you shortening "amuse"? If so, I would put an apostrophe in place of the "a" to reduce confusing. The line "pasts are tales not meant told" is a little awkward, both rhythmically and grammatically. You have a tendency to move the verb of the end of the line for a successful rhyme, which is not a problem, just be careful because sometimes it creates clarity issues. Poetry should be left up to interpretation, but it also needs to make sense. This is a...
I love the line: "I heard him sob softly as he faded into light." I'm curious about why you chose to switch to a straightforward rhyme five lines into the poem; it works both ways, I'm just not sure how I feel about the combination. Overall this is a great piece, and you have a great command of language. Nicely done!
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