Well, after reading part 2 first (not intentionally) I already know the rest of the story. Had I read this piece first I would have been seriously hooked to discover what is was you were going to New York for. Great job in grabing the readers attention. Two thoughts come to mind in this personal saga. First, you are very fortunate to have a friend like John. In desperate hours true friendship rises to the occassion. You are blessed to have a compassionate friend who stands with you through th...

Nicely done. I enjoyed this line, "If she should smile at him and tell him with her eyes her joy was created by his actions... "It's hard to understand why a label like "chilvary" was even necessary. The beautiful words of which your write, are simply the natural responses of a man who loves a woman. Defering to a woman that you love is part of the pleasure of being in love. Her graciousness and appreciation makes it all the sweeter. I enjoyed your writing.

Nice job! Your piece clearly communicates a desperate and needy person who has very low self-esteem. After reading this I wanted to sit with this person and encourage them to find their own self-respect. You are somebody! Believe it, I would say. Sadly, the more extreme our need, the less attractive we become. No relationship has the power to become our savior. We must save ourselves. Being positive, confident, and independent are some of the most attractive qualities of all. Thanks for writi...

Nicely written. I could feel your pain. That's good! Many a soul has purged themselves through the process of writing. Whether by journal, by poem, or by story, these artistic expressions indeed become the salve that heals are tender wounds. I really liked when you paused long enough to let the sun burst through the clouds when you said, "Yet to live free and happy, to fly, to touch the skies is a dream that lives in my heart, beating hard and fast pumping it’s lifes blood through my very vei...

What a great topic! Of course we are all liars to one degree or another. We should strive to be truth tellers but as you so clearly pointed out we have a variety of reasons why we do, to ourselves and to others. I thought this line was interesting, "Lies seem to be momentarily the path of least resistance." Nice use of vocabulary. I did get a little weary of your often used phrase,"I'm tired of..." Nice job on your piece overall though, and thats no lie! Thanks for writing.

Well done. Amazing to read such an honest and deeply personal story. The piece flowed beautifully. Excellent vocabulary. The sadness and personal pain you experienced through the years was clearly communicated. I was curious to know if you attribute your bi-sexuality to the molestation in your childhood. I enjoyed this line, "I plunged headlong into the prevailing currents..." I'm happy that you concluded your story with a sense of personal resolution. On a critical note, I thought this final...

Thank you for sharing your personal story. I grimaced through most of your very painful journey. How wonderful to reach the end and find that you overcame so many horrible obstacles. Very inspirational! I liked the sybolism of you burning the 2x4. As a suggestion, I thought the piece needed a little more snap to it. It flowed nicely but needed the extra zip that comes from powerful metaphors and similies. Great job and good luck with your family.

Creative. Very nice job.

If your first line was meant to grab attention you accomplished your purpose. The down side of your blanket statement is that you lose credibility in your writing. Of course we are all entitled to our opinions but when we write we must have some purpose in mind and that purpose needs logical support. Ranting and raving doesn't convince the reader of your proposition. I thought this was an interesting statement and worth expanding on, "Once perfection is reached, there is nothing left to exper...

Nicely done! Very good use of imagery. The first line,"Memories dig my grave" is a real grabber. Excellent! Thanks for writing.