This was very effective in insighting real feeling in me. I realy love the line "where someone gentle walks with me". I saw that you mentioned it maybe being on the religious side. Looking at it again, I see that it could be interpreted that way. I didn't have that impression when reading it the first time but I admire the fact that it could be inspiring in different ways depending on the reader's current frame of reference. Anyway, I love this! Thank you for sharing. I'll be looking for more!

Hi! I like this a lot. What I get from it is that to be a man is to be human. To believe that you are "a God" is to be of perfect judgement but to be "a king" is reasonble and desirable. I really like the line "slosh about judicial judge". I like when something could, upon ispection, appear obvious in meaning but really be full of underlying messages. Keep writing!

Tell you what, I'm no doctor but if you're "fuckin'crazy" then I've been there, too. I'ts really brave, in my opinion, to let feelings like this out honestly. I have been a fearful person at times but I'm never afraid of people who say what they mean when they mean it. I am more afraid of people who seem or want to appear to be "perfect". Anyway, this work is refreshing.

This is really good! I think it's wierd, but I like it. I had never considered "arachnoerotic" prior to reading this. You did a pretty complete job of clarifying the term. I enjoyed the vivid pictures your descriptions brought to life. Thank you for sharing!

I haven't read the first chapters so I don't feel qualified to judge this piece as a story. I will give you my impression based on my personal interest as a reader in general. The dialogue makes what's happening clear,for the most part. Obviously the characters are involved in a chaotic situation. This helped with my interest level relative to the dialogue because I didn't find a great deal of more narrative type and/or character and environmentally descriptive explaination. I kept reading an...

This is so intensely sad. You have a definite talent where writing is concerned. Everything you've written here fed to me such a vivid picture. Thank you for sharing your experience.

I really like The last paragraph in this. "I don't know what it is about me" and "How am I not myself" indicate the kind of introspection that ,in my opinion, even if one doesn't come to entire "self-realization", leads to the kind of insight needed to create what other's can relate to. I think I understand the "monk" aspect metaphorically, as I guessed it relates to how you've felt about your daily interaction with others. I really like the part about the little sand-castle turning to dust ...

This is a lovely portrayal of the way memories in life are a gift and a bain. This is beautifully descriptive where recollection of comfort with contrasting hurt is concerned. I have written poetry but know little about proper structure so I am reticent to comment on form or placement of words to relay meaning. I will say that much of this, I'd say primarily the first two-thirds, I found effectively moving.

Hi there! I like this. About half-way through I started to wonder whether or not it's a true story. You've used relevant detail and are obviously skilled at portraying a scenario that could occur in real life. I really like watching hockey so this made the story of even more interest to me personally. I haven't read too many stories involving hockey players so I think you picked a good sport to work the story around. I'm assuming that to be original is intended :). Anyway, this story contains...

Hi there! I can't believe you're only 14! Your written communication is clear and the descriptions, particularly those relative to the environment and presentation of the characters, are enough to enlist some interest. The story itself did not capture my attention much, nor evoke any feeling other than pity, at first, for the main character. I do like the way you introduced Alison and her plight by twice indicating that she was "small and ill favored" , the second time to imply that, with som...