Adev_Reversed has no favorites yet.
Adev_Reversed's profile
AGE:
31
LOC: Washington, DC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 16
LOC: Washington, DC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 16
A writer of few words, at the moment.
Items
Version 1
10 Reviews
0 Comments
You speak and I remember how I love you why I love you from your mind that I glimpse in your eyes and your hands that punctuate silently compose conduct and pinch the phrases as they leave your lips. And I remember your thoughts your words as you're speaking my soul but in your way with your tones and making me wanna say "YES!" cuz there's nothing but ecstasy when a meeting of minds ebbs and flows into a meeting of souls so YES finally both heard and listened I am not alone. You speak and I r...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I think the first three stanzas flow better than the last three. The rhythm changes slightly in the last two. Otherwise, it flows very well and is easily read on either account. At first, I thought that this was a scathing dig at someone else. I like that as you continue to read, you see that the lesson learned here can encompass all of us. I think you've only scratched the surface of a really good topic. The poem stands on it's own, but could be expanded upon, as well. Very good. ~Veda
Okay, this really did make me laugh. I love the sarcasm and the rationale behind it all. Particularly, being opposed to the existence of plant life, children and animals. I can see flipping to this in the pages of some magazine. If only the creators of South Park had a mag, you'd be in it. Thanks for the smile. ~Veda
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Let me first say that there are a few typos and punctuation issues, which threw off the momentum of the piece. One example is "in the one of the Disney theme parks". I think it was intended to read, "in one of the Disney theme parks". I also felt that the first three paragraphs were a bit chopping and could use some re-working. Particularly the point about immigrants, etc. Something about it doesn't quite flow as well as other areas. A little more editing is needed. I actually found both the ...
This one made me smile. I like the idea of passion so hot it sears and leaves you quaking. I'd like to see this one expanded upon, but on the other hand it's eloquent as is. Nice. ~Veda
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
