Aion's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: Hyde Park, MA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 24
LOC: Hyde Park, MA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 24
So, Im sorta young, but not really, not anymore anyway. I live Boston, sorta, kinda, but not really I guess. I write, although im certainly not the best writer. I really want a cat but for some reason I dont have one.. heh.. So anyway I think I can surmise my life in the lyrics to the following song…
Wots.. Uh the deal
-Pink Floyd
Heaven said the promised land
Looks allright from where I stand
Cause I’m the man on the outside looking in
Waiting on the first step
Show me where the key is kept
Point me down the right line
because it’s time
To let me in
from the cold
Turn my land into gold
Cause there’s chill wind blowing in my soul
And I think I’m growing old
Flash the readies wots…uh the deal
Got to make to the…
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Version 1
1 Review
4 Comments
That you inspire me is no great feat on your part. With one look, I am captivated, Motivated to sing praises to the sun and moon And the month of June Wax philosophical about the birds and trees The bumblebees have nothing on your sting That pierces my heart and leaves sweet venom That I crave Maybe I need to behave Maybe the rhyme works better with Dave Maybe the butterflies in my stomach Will stop dancing for a minute And let me catch my breath But those sweet whispers Are ambrosia And I do...
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This is the sound of sweet thunder; a steady rumble that starts in the heart and explodes in a cacophony of joyous song. thirst shall bathe Erotes here; amidst this pool of wishful chorus. parching the wit, and rendering exhausted echoes. Yet, dawn crests on the horizon and skys of azure bring color to this sweet melody that even the hard hearted cannot ignore their celestial theater looms over head though heavens lid begins to wane; rapture devours, their weak refrain replacing it with simpl...
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Version 1
4 Reviews
4 Comments
I am begging baby to bask in this fiery fury of two souls meetings for the first time, That sing glorious praises to gods and devils, That care not for good or evil. Try me on and you’ll know I’m a well-worn coat, Tattered and frayed at the seams but it can still keep you warm on a cold winter night. You have awoken the passion that only new love can bring about, The desire for one everlasting, endless, boundless kiss. The temptation of Edens sweet fruit, the soft touch of your hand on my fac...
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6 Reviews
8 Comments
Once a week I pray at the alter of Diana Basking in the quicksilver light That shines from her eyes Reveling in the silken touch of moonlight fingertips As they briefly caresses the rough contours of my psyche Once a week I am lost to the world As I watch the stars supernova Into a smile of deceptive and momentary brilliance Captivated by the song of her voice And the joy in her laughter Once a week I am at play In the Elysian Fields Cooled by the storm winds as I watch them converge But neve...
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Version 1
3 Reviews
4 Comments
I am the intense tradition of going nowhere fast. Time is not a factor, as I travel thru sound into void Breaking barriers, bringing down walls, achieving the quixotic dream, As I lie on soft mattresses of downy sheets stained by this afternoons lovemaking And Persephone haunts me offering the pomegranate that stalls All forward Motion Which Ends The intense tradition of going nowhere fast
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I hope this poem inspires some folks to check out Homer. Overall this was magnificient. I really enjoyed this. Your first stanza is a bit abstract though, only in that you create much more detail about that fatefull night with her in the rest of the poem. I liked it but it seemed like an isolated fragment when the rest of the poem was much more specific. The one stanza that really caught me was: Her divinity pulsed, but felt imperfect and I knew she was using me as a mortal takes in air to br...
That was sexy, beautifull and intense.. Each stanza is liquid gold. Well, overall I woudlnt change a thing. So let me tell you my impression of the poem. Your first stanza opens brilliantly and sets a very clear picture. Erotic yet not dirty, you paint a picture of early morning sunlight coming in thru a window, a perfect backdrop. Your description of how she tastes, very nice. What made you decide to use Almond? Not sure about the combobulating.. if there was one thing I would change.. it ma...
Time as an abstract concept is a pretty overused subject for poetry, however you do it justice, you paint some very pretty pictures, I felt like I was at a bus station for some strange reason. My own personal opinion drop this line.. "blowing on a endless road to no where" way to cliched.. Overall some nice stuff.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Your first stanza seems to relate praying before god, is this what you were going for?, I would replace line three perhaps with a mention of who you are calling too. I dont understand the last two lines of the second stanza, what memory? You should establish the memory perhaps. Your third stanza is excellent, very intense, very nice rhythm. Overall you have some potential, but Im at a loss for what your trying to relate, loss of something, missing someone?
66.6667% Review Quality (3 Votes)
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