Ames's profile

Ames avatar
AGE: 21
LOC: Cheney, WA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 13

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Version 1
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The young male painter stands in his dirty white t-shirt and a pair of torn khaki shorts with the logo-patch of his painting company half-hanging off the back pocket. He swings from the bars by both arms in the center aisle. He hangs He rocks He sways The jolting starts and stops do their best to throw him but, striving against their inertia he remains standing.
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Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
He told me Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers was his bad-luck song. He claimed every time it played on the radio something bad was about to happen to him. I didn’t find that incredible then. At fourteen I was fascinated by this sixteen year-old boy whose black Nike hoodie (with the white Nike emblem blacked out by a sharpie) continuously smelled of varied ratios of Adidas Sport cologne to marijuana smoke. His name was Enrique and he had numerous white scars on his arms that could ...
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Short Story / Cross Logic
Version 1
5 Reviews   2 Comments
Amy sat on her porch, a cordless phone nestled between her shoulder and the crook of her neck. Sean lounged on the steps, pretending not to take interest in the conversation. He looked intently at the Sports Illustrated magazine he held resting on his knees. “I love you. Bye, bye Honey.” Amy hung up the phone and picked up her pen to do the Sunday crossword. “Why are you with him?” Sean suddenly blurted. Amy looked at him, brows furrowed in confusion. She shifted her gaze to the tall cypress...
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Poetry / The Tree Shaker
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
average punk these days sagged jeans cigarette scent languid walk shaking trees manly pose child’s talk
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Poetry / The Greek Isles
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
I want to smoke a cigarette. I want to sit on a porch in the misty air Of a quiet summer morning near the Puget Sound And to spend an afternoon with Sarah the summer after freshman year Lighting up our pop-can pipe under the ferry docks As we talk of conspiracies and yellow cars. I want to watch the news and see That my mother’s boyfriend has made the world- Wide most wanted list. I want to stalk the night That Ricky was jumped by those cowards And force my friends to let go of me So I can p...
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Reviews
Short Story / December 7th
The imagery in this story (it really seems to be more like flash fiction though) is crisp and easy to envision, although the first "plug into the thin membrane on the ceiling of my nasal cavity" feels really distant and harder to see. I guess it is appropriate given the hospital setting but describing it in layman's terms may make it easier for a wider audience to connect with. The last line is a definite yes.
Poetry / among thieves
Only two suggestions for this poem. One, change the fourth line 'dance' to past tense and get rid of "noon" dark sky. "Dark sky" is just as descriptive and adding 'noon' actually makes it less visual. Two, I think the poem would benefit from being broken up into stanzas at places where there is a change in setting (dark sky to green wood) or change in narration (set off the song from the rest of the poem. Oh, I guess three, it seems that the third from the last line is not part of the song be...
Poetry / Memory
Great imagery. The memory you describe is so rich and real that a title like "Memory" is insulting. It's too general, and sadly, overused by many poets (I'm guilty as well). Even "The First Memory" or "When Grandpa Pinched Me" as long as it's specific.
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Flash Fiction / Atomic Love
I like the story. I don't think that the last sentence is very necessary. I prefer to be left with just one single scene in flash fiction. The imagery is very strong in this piece and I wouldn't change any of it. Tying a bow on a bomb is especially original.
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