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Amy152's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Glendale, AZ
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 25
LOC: Glendale, AZ
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 25
I guess it’s probably quite over due that I write something here, huh? I started writing Poetry as a pre-teen (I guess that would be tween in current speak, lol). I wrote pretty frequently throughout my teen years, but it tapered off as I got older and real life interfered with fantasy. It wasn’t until not too long ago that I began to write again. I’ve been called self indulgent in my writing, and I suppose I am. I write primarily for me, being read is an afterthought. I’m trying to work on finding a middle ground.
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Version 2
12 Reviews
1 Comment
hear their cries. black as the smoke that burns their bodies. grasping clasping talons tearing at me. through me. from me. falling again, or fallen all along? deciet. as easy as a smile. a smile. as fake as what I pretend to be. clawing. rending open from within. this creeping dark. sinuating through my veins. spilling into this stained soul. what is this? fear. freedom. oblivion. dreaming, but such dreams these. choking, the stench that permeates the air. a thousand corpses line the rows. de...
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Version 2
14 Reviews
0 Comments
this is mine. from so far off. a memory. a voice. voices? not a memory. seductive. breathless whispers serenade. this scene played out again. "WHY ARE YOU CRYING? DRY YOUR EYES AND ENJOY THE SHOW. THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED. WHAT YOU BEGGED FOR. YOU DID THIS, NOT I. YES, YOU." mine. but why. why cause such misery? a cruel caress, this murmuring. "YOU LONGED TO KNOW EVIL. YOU CANNOT KNOW, YOU CAN ONLY BE. YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON THEM. YOUR PAIN. YOUR VENGENCE. AND I? I BUT SHOWED YOU THE WAY. WHAT ...
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Version 1
13 Reviews
0 Comments
Exquisite pain tears at my soul Bleeding me dry, taking control Agony seduces ecstasy until Pain and pleasure meld as one Closed eyes and a secret smile No longer denying my desires Is this fantasy or reality? The lines begin to blur. Subjugation or liberation? Or something of our own creation… Who's to say what's wrong or right? Who's to sit in judgment? Burning out of control, need fans the flames Heat that consumes flows through my veins A rush of endorphins, emotions on edge Tell me that ...
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I don't think I could have put it better myself. And I only had to look up mimesis :) I think that a majority of writers write as an emotional outlet, especially myself. I would say that the likelihood of this being chosen is very high!
I look forward to reading more, but I think a lot of people will get to the end and be annoyed that they still have no idea what the story is about. I like what I'm assuming is going to be a a mix of modern and mythology. Isis is mentioned, and I'm not sure if She's the master you're referring to, but if it is, it should be Mistress. I think I'd be much better qualified to review this once more is written.
I'm not quite sure if the "you" you're referring to is dead, or simply no longer in your life. I do like that you mnaged to imply that loneliness that can come from either scenario in so few words. It makes it relateable to anyone who has lost one that they love.
You fixed most of what I had noticed before. Just a few things, when Tayah arrives at the Grecko you describe her as "big as life", IMO that just doesn't read right, perhaps "in the flesh" or something. The line "Nilby threw his arms out in a ‘what the hell’ gesture and exclaimed, “What the hell?!” " I don't think you need both "what the hell's", he just gesture it or say it, not both back to back. "She cupped her head in her hand and shook both softly." I'm guessing that it was "hands" and y...
I cracked up reading this. And it's so true, poetry usually is love followed by pain. Well said!
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