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Andyoak's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Syracuse, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 24
LOC: Syracuse, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 24
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We want to right , right now. I want to write , right now Not because I have any eloquent solutions to so financial our problems, or any silver spoons stuck up my ass; but because I’m an American who just thinks….how crass? Look at us, yells any Jesus freak on the street Where we’re standing in bullshit trying to wade through logic When we should be asking ourselves, why can’t we just all pull together? My answer? The eyes of the politician are in the face of a crook...
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One can only take the high road so many times on their way to the valley, And so jesus once passed this way, as he went east to become a man, Perhaps passing them on the way back to his martyrdom, Refining the philosophies of prophets who put them there. Awed perhaps, he paid homage to false idols and saw himself writ larger Than a golden calf or pot bellied man. Now they crumble at the hands of men trying to erase a past. History is certainly bigger than the men, who make it, And more eve...
Version 1
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They evolve the site and I just wanted to write. It’s prolific, and they told there investors they'd turn a profit soon. Those new tools might just be worth the price. Can it really make me more publishable? Knaw, I'm a shitty writer and a poor person to match, so I won’t spring for it. But I like the direction, the plan for this site is on target, it is at once understanding and capitalizing on the new digitized age, and one can't help to think if that is just exploitation by another name, e...
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It is us, who rush in, headstrong and sure we are right. and if we be mistaken it is not by malice, but err in calculation. It is us, who remain noble, regal and pensive bout the human condition. and if we over-indulge it is not by greed, but excess of spirit. It is us, who foster hope, where tragedy abounds and the practiced nature of science falls short. It is us, who protect, the soul of man in a godless world of ordered chaos. It is us, who mankind sought, for his most important seeking. ...
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Reviews
I think the poem articulates what you are getting at very well, and I think it is a fairly common human emotion/experience; "The past is never thru with us". I also like the movement of the piece it travels in a nice linear way. With all that said I think you can make it better, if you want to. Maybe add a verse or two and describe specifics of this past that haunts, it can still be vague, but adding some more allusions or tropes of what has changed will give the piece grounding and help enga...
Awsome, I just loved it, it sorta kinda reminded me of a little wayne rap song in the way it made no sense but did?, The word play was phenomenal, some of the couplets set my mind racing in many directions at once as I tripped over them. I feel like this is poem I could read over and over again and get something new from it each time. Bravo, well done...The title was perfect as well.
excellent, I read these and was left wanting more. You show great control over both the form and the subtance/genre and subject. good work sounds like a great series of classic structured verse.
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