I am sorry but if you are expecting me to recommend changes I just cant. I think it is wonderful and very flowing. I enjoyed the cadence and the visual images of seasons. Although you only mention Autumn in that context..you use the word spring which brings one to the idea of youth verse exp....I like dit

Although it is only one chapter you did a good job of adding enough details to make it clear that they are in an alternate reality. I was able to get a good idea about the personalities of a few main characters as well, which made me want to keep reading. I like the idea of Lauriana being surrounded by family on her quest. The chapter flows well from one time frame to the next as well.

would like maybe an example or two of the stories Mikell and marcus discussed while bonding.On page eight where Zeke is talking to Marcus and he is getting ready to leave he is shown as slapping marcus on the back. The words that he speaks and they way he is portrayed to act did not fit together with this image for me. I pictured him pating his back or squeezing a shoulder..more of a serious fatherly or mentor type rather than a buddy.

about macbeth or you are macbeth?

kinda describes us all