AnonEmotus's profile

AnonEmotus avatar
AGE: 16
LOC: Los Alamitos, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 16

When I write lyrics or poetry, I tend to leave out capitalisation which is my intention. I prefer writing poetry and lyrics; I haven’t really explored prose too much. I am currently working on several short stories and an idea of a novel has been sitting in my mind…waiting to be penned for about a year.

My personal blog: http://anephemeralexistence.wordpress.com
My videos: www.youtube.com/user/razorviolin

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Version 1
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tonight we go through the motions of a familiar pattern: bodies wrapped in sheets as you beg to go deep. in response, i hurt you too. these hearts beat to different rhythms and these breaths labour in different tempos. slick skin of a slender body is violated by unmerciful friction. broken lamps, shattered lightbulbs strewn across the floor. after we’ve gone to sleep, the messy aftermath lays beneath heavy curtains that hide our personal problems; every broken shard: a symbol of implied frust...
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Short Story / The Fire Thief
Version 1
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You don’t wake up one morning and decide that your life would be much better if you found pleasure in the misery of others. But Astor proved me wrong. “Kiaran, come here for a sec!” “What do you want from me?” “It’s not like you have anything better to do.” I knew exactly what was coming up. It didn’t matter how it all began because in the end I’d be on the ground bleeding again. As I slowly walked towards him I counted off the places I’ve bled from and the bones of mine he broke numerous tim...
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Lyrics / This Feeling
Version 1
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mmhmmm Ohh Ohh... Out the door; down the stairs... fade into the darkness for all I care! 'cause it wasn't even half as good as I thought it would have been; no no... I didn't drown in the depth of our skin. no no... I must admit my interest is wearing thin. chorus: mmhmmm you left me with this feeling baby, call me cruel but this is so real...so real! you pull me in only to shut me out baby, call me cruel but that's so rude...so rude! mmhmmm you've left me...left me with this feeling 'cause ...
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Version 2
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is this how we envisioned the end? more of a mess than a well thought out plan. the future was in our hands (so promising) only to slip away like grains of sand. i can't keep you any longer; the reasons don't make sense. i can't afford to take another chance, the risks are too immense. chorus: prosthetic hearts can never be broken why don't you buy that subway token? plunge into the deepest tunnels clutching with you words left unspoken. i can't explain myself; the words will never come out r...
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Haiku/Senryu / Effects of Solitude
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
Hermitic, alone; if he continues he will escape but perish.
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Reviews
Poetry / Mummy loves
i like the repeated usage of "acid" since it allows the stanzas to flow very well. in my opinion, the opening lines are a good contrast to the choppy, fast-paced wording throughout each stanza. it allows me as a reader to stay focused on a concrete image and i can build up from there. if i may ask, does the acid (be it as a noun or adjective) serve as some motif? i also find the references to blood signifiny the unbreakable bond between mother and child. "bad blood" reminds me that the mother...
Lyrics / Untitled 6-4-08
simple lyrics to describe painful heartache. i can see this song being expanded. i like how direct it is; if you could keep that going throughout the piece while adding to it, it'd turn out wonderfully.
Flash Fiction / The Piano
Locked
Flash Fiction / Original Sin
I love the structure of the dialogue. I think it would be clearer if the inner monologue was italised; that makes it easier for me to distinguish the conversation addressed to the boy and what "father" is running through his head. The ending was superb; the incomplete sentences show the speeding thoughts.
Poetry / Breaking Free
this is a really personal and insightful peace. i like you're asking rhetorical questions...and then answering yourself to assure yourself of the direction you are taking. this line is so gruesome: I’m carving you out of my heart with my jagged fingernails awesome imagery!
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