Well, A good poet does take inspiration from the events around him/her and I suppose that an internet writing review site is no exception. However I think this one is a little thin. Albeit, I am new to Urbis and fortunately have received high quality reviews for my story and I do my best to leave good reviews for my fellow writers. I can understand the pain of someone leaving a poor review just to collect credits and this is expressed in this poem. I can appreciate the humor that "avermitsky ...

I really liked this poem and I am incredibly picky about the poems I like. Firstly I got chills. These are the lines that did me in: "Through a cloud of smoke, An old man said to me, Darlin if that’s what you’re lookin for This ain’t the place to be." I love the image of the old man through a cloud of smoke, and this snippet of dialog is very poignant. I get a feeling of desolate loneliness from this poem. As much as I like this poem, I think its not quite there. "Back to an old friend… A dir...

Nice. You made me laugh. I love this line. The detail of what exactly you'll be doing when the world explodes is great. I wonder what music is playing. It would be great if you could include some detail that would let us hear it. "And once I've reached a vantage point I'll put on some tunes and smoke a joint And watch chunks of Earth fly all over the freakin place"! I like that you got motive, means and action all in one fairly short poem. What is a stasis pod? Perhaps I am just out of the lo...

What struck me first is the structure. It is interesting the story is punctuated by (thinking in progress…). The idea is pretty clever but I am not sure if it works in this format. I would re-write it as a 10 minute play. Instead of images or scene this story is reliant upon dialog and what amounts to stage directions...it's practically a play already. If you choose to keep it as a flash fiction, I think you need to stop and take the time to give us things to see. What do these characters loo...

There are few good images that linger in my mind: "Wrenching questions eroding our foundation; as frost creeps, opaquely shading windows." "A brilliant burst between my halves;" I liked this line for its clever use of alliteration. this childish crisis to catalyze my doubt. Even after several reads of the poem, I wasn't sure what it was about. I like the way the language sounds (especially out loud) but the two main metaphors of the narrator as a house and the narrator as a diseased body conf...

It’s a good start. I like that the creature is stealing the child from the parents, and the idea introduced that this child was somehow the key of some battle for good and evil in the future. I like the magic and sense that something really important is at stake. You do good job setting up the tension. The magic intrigues me, but the rules are little unclear. For example, what powers does a human woman have against a dragon like creature who wields magic? “just as he raised his staff, purple ...

Personally, we’re talking science fiction here so I would not worry about reality in the least. The best part of science fiction is that you get create the world and decide the rules of the world. It’s up to you as the writer to make those rules believable, and you’re doing a good job of it. I totally buy the spider silk is stronger than Kevlar concept. It works really well for the kind of world you are creating. It feels to me that this world is war-torn, that there are few survivors and few...

"The sleeves hung inches past my hands;" "I thought I could smell your scent," "and drifted into sleep knowing I was not alone." Beautiful. I took a poetry class in high school with John L. Stanizi who was once lauded with the title of New England Poet Laurette and he taught us that that good poem needed to be like a photograph but incorporating all the sensory details in addition to evoking an emotional response from the reader. This poem does all of these things. Well done. I love how you c...

Interesting start: You give us sense of foreboding without giving away anything. I’m immediately drawn in by my curiosity. What happened to the mother to make her afraid for her daughter? “ I just hadn’t considered the fact that I might fall dead from exhaustion” Is this sarcasm or a real fear? How long is this walk? “The necklace I had gotten for graduation, the one that said my name “Charlie” on it, seemed to be permanently stuck to my chest with perspiration. “ Great detail! Is it her name...

“This is the tale of a young man” Your tenses are inconsistent. You need to choose whether to tell the story in present or in past tense. Your introduction has nothing to do with the story. “George du pont” needs to be capitalized “George Du Pont” Make sure you do a spelling and grammar check before you submit. There are several misspellings and words that should be capitalized “or obe” what does this mean? I can’t decide whether the frequency of awkward sentence construction is supposed to r...