Ashentara's profile

Ashentara avatar
AGE: 32
LOC: France
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 20

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Items
Non-fiction / Superheroes United
Version 1
5 Reviews   1 Comment
5th of September 2006 9am The sun was shining. It was a bright and beautiful morning, and I’d just dropped my daughter off at school.  It seemed like a normal Tuesday, I was back home, I was going to start working as usual, I’d made myself a cup of coffee… and as I always do, I started the day by checking my email.  And among my work stuff and spam emails…  I found a mail from my best friend, telling me my boyfriend was dead. Although what I wrote cou...
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Opportunities
Novel Treatments / Superheroes united
Version 1
4 Reviews   1 Comment
SUPERHEROES UNITED By Emmanuelle Roué “You know...I've never seen a guy so in love. It’s really sweet...and I’m glad that you are the girl of his dreams. He was a very happy chappy… Even through miserable times he was still happy because he had you…” Introduction 5th of September 2006 9am The sun was shining. It was a bright and beautiful morning, and I’d just dropped my daughter off at school. It seemed like a normal Tuesday, I was back home, I was going to start working as usual, I’d made ...
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Poetry / Love inc.
Version 1
2 Reviews   8 Comments
With a love like ours There's nothing we can't do With a love like ours Everything seems so easy Everything is so beautiful With a love like ours I feel invincible Life itself is jealous of our love She's keeping us apart But not forever though With a love like ours The hurdles disappear Life and death are temporary states Love goes on The whole world smiles upon us The gods look at us with envy How could they not? If I have you, I have everything I need or want The world will be our playgrou...
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Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Muse-ical genius
Version 1
3 Reviews   2 Comments
It’s hard to describe what I feel when I’m watching them, listening to them I used to say the first concert was a life-defining moment Now I can say that I’m lucky enough to get that feeling from the TV or my CDs To a lesser extent of course But still Their music, it permeates me Strikes me at my deepest Makes me feel so alive, so much a part of everything I forget my pain, my chronic depression They make me want to live life to the fullest Create – that’s the basis of everything for me And w...
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Novel Treatments / Superheroes United - part II
Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
Chapter 1: Unintended “You could be my unintended Choice to live my life extended You could be the one Ill always love You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions You could be the one Ill always love Ill be there as soon as I can But I’m busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before” (credits to Muse) How do you go from meeting someone by chance to falling head over heels in love in less than a month? How do a French girl and an Australian guy fall for each other? Oh, an...
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Reviews
Very well written. Thanks for sharing :) I noticed a couple (three actually) mistakes: asking the everyone - asking everyone lightening - lightning I don’t which one of you this vision points to. word missing If I can criticize one thing, from my point of view, there isn't enough dialogue in your piece. Maybe too many descriptions. Those descriptions however are very well done. You conveyed a sense of grandeur throughout. Your characters are interesting, it's all very original. A bit complex ...
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Poetry / When I Learned
A couple of things I noticed, first: "I never explored his moles, like I have many since " a word is missing there, right? "We would pretend we were just taking a walk and hid out behind their house. " It should read "hide" I think. Other than that, very well written, it's sexual without being too full-on, and it's never vulgar. You've struck the right balance!
Removed
Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Query- Shadows in the Moss
Well I think you did a good job, your synopsis really does what it's intended for - leave the readers wanting for more. There may be a few too many details, that kind of hinder the flow of the story (or summary), but it's nicely done. Also, the last paragraph seems a bit short to me.
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ITEMS (2)

 

Short Story / The Roses... revision
Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Stoned Immaculate

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