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Ashmodai's profile
AGE:
20
LAST LOGIN: October 24
LAST LOGIN: October 24
My name is Ross Dillard, I’m the son of a Landscaper and Nurse Anesthetist. I’m 17 and have taken a great interest in writing. One day I will attempt to be a great American novelist/poet, but who knows. There will be more detail later.
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In Aurochs and Angels I reside In Aurochs and Angels A Seaman am I And with more More of me Creation is achieved Literary creation will becum from us A Rhyme A Rhyme Once Upon a Time That was not... That was not So BREAK your pen/MAN/shackles And man a pen/MAN/ship A Seaman are you, are we? With ebb and flow A pearl in the sky Moves one, from Seaman to Pirate A Literary Rapist Fox News is just that Wielding a phallic pen Humbert Humbert Ho Hum Was he a Pirate of the PEN Was his Dolly derived ...
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In your first sentance you broke your 5-7-5 syllable scheme. If you fix that you will have much more success with that. I think the piece accurately displays the regrowth of the world due to harm. I enjoyed the read though. Fix that and you'll be much better off.
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It was a pretty good piece. I think you could elaborate more, also, you might want to form a few stanzas, free form is tough to work with. Overall I think you have a pretty good idea, but if you described your father and Grandfather just a bit better rather than the 3 simple descriptions you used you will be a lot better off.
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