BFD's profile
AGE:
32
LOC: Irvine, KY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 02
LOC: Irvine, KY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 02
I’ve been writing since the day I learned to spell enough words to get my thoughts on paper. Sometimes I’m happy with the results…sometimes even I can’t figure out what it was that I was trying to say. My first grade teacher told me that a sentence is a complete thought. Thus, I’ve never been able to correctly apply the technical rules of grammar to my own writing. My complete thoughts tend run a little longer than some may think they should… I over use … and I think I do that because I don’t know if I’m actually done with that thought or not. But what I write is from my heart. It is the life I live, the prayers I pray, the hopes I have, the dreams I’m after.
Items
Version 2
7 Reviews
4 Comments
Overcome obstacles, one at a time
Opportunities
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Why it is that I am standing here What for is it that I wait? I've forgotten how I came to be The memory's misplaced. The world spins 'round, but slow enough If it's rhythm I could find, I'd jump back in, I'd try again, But I'd still be flying blind.
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
There aren't any words For what I want to say If there is, it's in a language Far too sacred for this place For You and I have risen Out of ash, we've come alive Breathing through each other Death's grip we two defied Now the world, it turns beneath us The stars, they're in our eyes Heaven exists within our hearts We are one now you and I
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
I hear the words you're saying and yet I feel your pride and it's only when your humble that your courage overrides I chose to face my darkest fears on faith that you'd be there don't choose to leave me hanging it's time to show me that you care Your words are sweet as always but we're in check and it's your move where we go from here I guess we'll see what's left to prove
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I can see that you've been working on this one a bit, but where did the pain go? I get a more frantic feeling from this version than I did from the last. And what is with all the pacing and racing rhymes? Show me, don't tell me...make my heart race, make me worry, make me feel your pain...right now, I don't really feel anything...I'm just watching you walk in circles and I don't really know why. I'm also not sure if you intended on mis-spelling "heart", or not.
With the six words you have chosen, I think you have successfully described the reality in which most creative people in this world live. There are far more creative people in the world than there are those who obtain fame and fortune for their works, that's for sure. Nice job. Best of luck with your submission!
Your subject is stressed, and it's painful...I get that... However, it also makes me wonder if your subject is as "blind and unkind" to others because of the pain. Just a thought. You may also want to run a spell check...
This is a very strong piece. I can feel the walls closing in around me when I read it. Best of luck with your submission!
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
