I could go through a line by line review of this piece nit picking spelling, grammar and syntax but after reading the piece I can only comment on the content. The story was moving. It was real life stripped to the bone and raw. I felt what you felt. You put me right in the storage shed among the boxes and mementos. Having a Mother who was “a little off”, I can completely relate. The story made me think of some things I had put on a back burner since my own moms passing. That’s powerful stuff....

Too funny. I'd like to see it when it's up and running...Neil

Now that wasn't bad. It's a good way to start a story by introducing characters. I would say to add more visual detail to them though. The only thing I had trouble with was seeing the characters. I could imagine what they looked like but it’s your story. You tell me what they looked like. Aside from that I thought it was good..Neil

A hundred differant thoughts were provoked by a 32 word poem. Well done. Neil...AKA...Neil

I don't know if I should review this piece or give you advice on your love life so I'll do both. First, the piece; it's great. There's a start, a middle and sort of an end. I know I have to read the rest for the real end and I will because you make the subject matter interesting and it's well written. It's almost like eaves dropping on a conversation in the ladies room. Second; the guy thing, the worst people to get advice from if you're trying to hook up with a guy is another woman. If a guy...

That was fun. I have a son in college and it was kind of like looking at his life through your eyes (that almost sounded like poetry didn’t it?) I think the real test of a good poem is its ability to hold a person like me who may not be a real poetry kind of guy. You did that. Bravo!….Neil

Pretty deep stuff. I like the imagery. It even had an odor to it. I couldn't tell if this was an ode to an acquaintance or a way of life. It didn't matter; it worked just as well for one as the other. I would like to series of poems about this character. …Neil

Well done! There was a beginning, middle and an end, something I don't see allot in the poems I've been reading. It had bullet proof structure and it flowed like an old song you know all the words to. I know the robin has some metaphorical meaning but I would still love to see something structured like this about everyday things like sitting in a bar, running the kids around, or riding a motorcycle. Those are things I can relate to. But I’m a heathen doomed to off color limericks because most...

I thought the piece was entertaining but a little too random.I'm no poet and I understand the medium is subject to allot of interpretation, I just like a beginning, a middle and an end. Don't get me wrong, I think it was good, but for my taste it could have been better with more structure.

Yeh, that hits the nail square on the head. More so the "poets note" then the poem but they're both good. Stop by , take a ride. Say hi. Neil...AKA...Neil myspace.com/neilakaneil