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B_Taylor_Johns's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Fraser, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: December 26
LOC: Fraser, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: December 26
I am rarely serious.
I fuxs with it.
Items
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
I know this is a horrible way to say it but that’s what I do. I watch her. I didn’t start this confrontation. You brought me here. I don’t really see how you are drawing such straight lines. You’d like it to be black and white all the time but buddy everything is grey. all the area not covered in love or hate it’s grey, baby I watch her. to keep under attentive view or observation, as in order to see or learn something I watch her. When I’m in the supermarket checking the ripeness of melons ...
Version 1
6 Reviews
4 Comments
If it wasn't for your long slender fingers sliding over my breasts I'd be on plane to Boston about to become a pretentious art student a bitter waitress, a complete mess. I'd take pictures of myself drinking wine with red fingernails on dirty white sheets wearing vintage lingerie I would carry a bad British accent do yoga in pearls turn everything into a run on sentence and maybe someday I’ll learn self c o n t r o l not just over fucking We are talking the whole nine yards, diets gym member...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Chayce tears a piece of cardboard from a box and quickly rubs his oil pastels all over them the way he envisions Pollock doing it. He uses blue yellow red and when I ask him why he uses only those colors he says that they are the only colors that matter. I like to remember when things were that easy to explain.
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Stories not only provide context for statistical statements but canillustrate and vivify them as well.
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
My son, a bon vivant, vitiates a promise, falls out of grace with many different gods. Doughty daughter, though no toper, never says no to a drink. Their mother’s prepotency reinforced by errant will. I sit by the rivulet, in the ambit of the lord, our absent father.
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Reviews
I can't really read past the first line. Love is like a rose...that image is overdone.. love like a rose... the most cliche love simile I can think of. Though these emotions may be new to you and you may feel the need to write them out (which is super cool and keep doing it, it is how we learn, just writing everything we can)but you need to spend some time reading poetry and I mean different types, authors, movements. I think this would really help you develop as a writer. The idea of love li...
To be honest, I don't really have anything to critique. I really enjoyed reading this. You are clever without ostentatiously showing your cleverness. Your sentences are clean and trimmed of fat. Your dialogue doesn't come off as forced. You are quick, but you don't hurry. This is where I'd comment of theme but I don't think I have enough meat to do such a thing. You should check out slurvemag.com. They are always looking for good fiction.
A comment on style: Cut the fat in your lines. I really think this will stream line the voice and I think that would really enhance the story telling. You lines can become muddy, almost heavy. (this is nothing more than my opinion, not fact.) For example: (I will really going into one section here to show you what I mean in full, but I won't do that throughout the piece to save you credits.) "Heavy rain laden clouds were blowing in from the west, blocking out the bright full moon overhead." I...
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