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BambooStalker's profile
AGE:
27
LOC: West Roxbury, MA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 28
LOC: West Roxbury, MA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 28
I’m a girl with girl parts, including a heart which has weathered many a storm.
i’m looking for something i’ve lost. something i have never seen but i know it exists.
I like deep conversation and gutter jokes. I love to read and I love to write. I’m creative and loving. I’m happy and sad. I don’t like the president. I have 2 dogs who love me and a cat who hates me. I have zero tolerance for ignorance. I love panda bears and sushi.
I have always been a very creative person, crafting, crocheting, and writing since I was much shorter and still a kool-aid drinker.
My punctuation sucks. I need to work on that. I’ll get to it. My only suggestion is try to critique my work without concentrating on puntuation. Otherwise your comments…
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365 days of my life spin round on an axis that lulls me to sleep 3.65 for a cheap bottle of wine peach chardonay sliding down the gullet sugar coating the salty, choking, stream of tears today I remembered no one realy cares looking out for number 1 with a bullet a jack and coke and a couple old friends that i'll slide back into like my favorite hooded sweatshirt. benevolence is out-dated and misrepresented if you don't believe in a kingdom of sweet rewards at the end of all this sweat and bi...
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so here i sit leaking salt floods behind my dam eyes over you, lost cause. horns locked drum tight tearing hair clumps because it's not fair to you or me. you say, "i know." talking louder maybe i'll be heard by you, lost cause. my heart in hand bleeding white flags turning the table so now you win. ©2005 candielizabeth
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in the ocean i kissed you. softly. i kissed you hard. the kind of kisses that dare you to leave while begging you to stay. damn the salt water for stinging my eyes, i was too busy wiping at tears to notice my kisses sunk. drowned. they lay dead, now at the bottom of the sea. lost. and you wont help me look for them. her kisses were sweeter, i guess. they stuck to you hard like wet candy sticks to paper. now, i have to find them on my own, my kisses. even though it seems, i've forgotten how to...
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You wear lipstick now and your face shows hints of your mother. There was a spark I saw, a little light behind your eyes and I think you might be happy now. Your spine straightened up with what I think is called confidence, but I can't be entirely sure of that term. It's a pleasant surprise. In the time when we were still daughters, I always thought you might collapse into yourself; fold up tight, like the notes we passed in history. You were always so small, like the kittens you were allergi...
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while you were sleeping dreaming of fire and death i gouged a knife into my chest i carved my heart out and i laid it on your night stand beating next to a half empty water glass and an ashtray as i left i counted each step from your bed to the door birthed into obsidian night at 11:34 nothing but darkness icy cold to fill the gaping hole where my heart lived the chill bumps on my arms were a map back to you drawn in a foreign language one i would bury and never follow again ©2005 candielizab...
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Though I've written a few in myself, I'm not a big fan of poems about love or copulation. That's just my own personal issue, though. You stuck to your theme in a clear, concise manner explaining the heat and also the vulnerability of intimacy. This is a very nice piece :) I think it's exactly the right lenghth. People tend to get overly verbose when writing pieces like this *I'm guilty of this myself" Over all, great work! Would love to see more!
Not only can I relate to this, but it was beautifully written, too. You stick close to the cigarette metaphor without overdoing it. Very, very, nice! Keep up the good work!
Fun and entertaining with an excellent message! I love the last line especially. Keep up the good work!
Very simple and quick but I think the language is fitting. You make a point poetically without being overly verbose. Well done :)
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