Bananafisher's profile

Bananafisher avatar
AGE: 28
LAST LOGIN: September 05

I write depressing stories, alone, in the dark. I also make sketch comedy, with friends, in the sunshine. Call me bipolar. Some of my comedy can be seen at my group’s youtube page: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=horseheadbusinessman

You can also email me at Admitdefeat@aol.com.

Thanks,
Noah

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Short Story / Stitch in Time
Version 2
0 Reviews   0 Comments
The child sat on her cement front porch, drawing a picture of a deceased relative. Her movements were synchronized, a true case for natural and precise hand eye coordination. Like the strings on a puppet, partial movement in her eyes meant partial movement with her hand. As her eyes followed the contours of a nose, she scribed the form in machine-like precision. Although she was not far along, her talent was unmistakable and remarkable for a girl of thirteen She always started with the eyes a...
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Version 2
2 Reviews   0 Comments
"If I Die, Tell Them All I Saw It Coming" Part One of Three "You have to have at least two rivers experience before we allow anyone to ride these rapids. This is not a joke, these rapids are extremely dangerous. Everyone raise your hand if you qualify," said the guide, eying the room. The rest of the group raises their hands and I look at John as he arches an eyebrow. My pastor, encouraging me to lie. I can't help but laugh. I love it; when people do something and don't understand the irony. ...
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Short Story / Apples and Oranges
Version 2
1 Review   0 Comments
They laid flat on their backs, coated in the dewy sweat of an after-dinner afterglow. Their light came from a single scented candle, flickering and moving to the breeze of the clicking ceiling fan. They stared at the dancing shadows on the ceiling. There was no rush to get dressed and no rush to speak. This was summer and they were in love. His cell buzzed twice on the nightstand before the ringer kicked on. He had methodically assigned ring tones to everyone he knew, divided by four categori...
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Short Story / Stitch in Time
Version 1
13 Reviews   6 Comments
An adorable child sat on her cement front porch, drawing a picture of a deceased relative. Her movements were synchronized, and a true case for precise hand eye coordination. Like the strings on a puppet, partial movement in her eyes meant partial movement with her hand. As her eyes followed the contours of a nose, her hands drew the contour, in machine-like precision. Although she was not far along, her talent was unmistakable and remarkable for a girl of fourteen. She started with the eyes ...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Hey. I'm glad to have stumbled across this. I am guilty of a couple things on the list. More so the one sided conversation. I purposely set out not to do 4 and 8, without even knowing these rules, I just knew it didn't work. I actually wrote a "why I'm writing this" and a backstory for something I'm working on now, and it took me a couple days per piece, but they will not be used in the story except for my own reference material. I think it's important someone know why they're writing it and ...
Short Story / Henry
This was a pretty interesting little story. If I could make any suggestions at all, I'd say to take it further. Maybe at the beginning. It's a hard call because it's certainly fun that it starts out mid-action. Also, I like the idea of the knife being personified, which is the center of this piece. One thing that came off kind of jarring was that you referred to James as a man, young boy, man again, etc and then referred to him as a boy. I understand he's 18, which could be either direction, ...
I almost think this should be written as poetry and not categorized under short stories. It certainly is a story but I don't think a short story so much as a scene. I certainly love your language and the specific vagueness everything is given. It being dark and wet and smoky almost comes through without even needng to read these adjectives, as if the piece itself is written perfectly for that type of setting. The way you write is dark and smoky, if that makes sense. Again though, I could see ...
Short Story / An attempt at Dialogue
I liked this. Reminds me of something the Joker might say from batman. You'd really have to hammer home the idea that the person was not in the right mind, the person being stabbed, to talk so normally about being stabbed. I saw a guy get stabbed, they're not quite as coherent. Although, on PCP or really drunk, who knows? Could very much be like this. What are you writing dialogue for if I may ask? It's interesting.
Short Story / An Inconsequential Death
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