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Benny's profile
AGE:
24
LOC: Santa Maria, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 07
LOC: Santa Maria, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 07
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Items
Version 1
10 Reviews
0 Comments
She sat there at the foot of her bed in nothing but her bra and panties. Her elbows rested on her knees, and she held her head with her hands. Her beautiful brown hair, which was normally straight and flowing, was in a tangled mess. She sat there looking at an invisible spot on the floor. She felt like crying, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so. Outside, she could hear the sounds of men shouting and arguing. She wasn’t looking out the window, but she could imagine in her mind what was g...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
She sat there at the foot of her bed in nothing but her bra and panties. Her elbows rested on her knees, and she held her head with her hands. Her beautiful brown hair, which was normally straight and flowing, was in a tangled mess. She sat there looking at an invisible spot on the floor. She felt like crying, but she couldn’t bring herself to do so. Outside, she could hear the sounds of men shouting and arguing. She wasn’t looking out the window, but she could imagine in her mind what was g...
Version 1
14 Reviews
0 Comments
My world is on fire, I feel the end is near, There’s nothing you can do, So just sit back and drink your beer. Not that you could have done anything to stop this, Lord knows you never could, You never really gave a damn, Even though you know you should. We were good in the beginning, Something like conjoined twins, But now all we do is fight silent wars, And no one ever wins. Your lips always preach your love, Saying to the end of the world, But I can see the truth in your eyes, It speaks you...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
She doesn’t know that every single word she says kills me inside, but at the same time heals my wounds. Every time I am near her, I feel as if all of my problems have been lifted off my shoulders. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is my best friend. She is my rock to lean against to keep from falling. But I did fall... for her.... But she doesn’t know... She doesn’t know... That I love her...
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Reviews
Very good. I like how you get straight to the point and don't dance around with figurative language. I was genuenlly entertained. If I could give you one piece of advice though: you might want to consider reordering the poem so that it is in paragraphs so it is easier to read. Other than that, it is an excellent poem and I hope you keep up the good work.
Its very good. I would love to see you expand on the ideas a bit(especially in the last paragraph, which left me hanging), make it longer, and use a more varied vocabulary. Other than this, it was a great short thing, and i would love to see more. keep it up.
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