Bernie's profile
AGE:
49
LOC: South Africa
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 22
LOC: South Africa
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 22
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Items
Version 1
9 Reviews
1 Comment
Shouldn’t be typing. The act of writing makes me feel better. Can’t do this and think of all the fingers and what I want to say at the same time. She started bleeding this afternoon. I tried to open her mouth to see what was going on and a great big clump of blood fell out. She scratched me. Made me bleed. Our blood mixed. We will always be part of each other now. Like the stories you read. Like Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer. “Do you think she’s dying?” “Yes. We should take her to the vet, ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
4 Comments
SILVER IN THE SUNLIGHT She was a beautiful seagull. Her body was pure white and the edges of her strong wings were tipped with grey, which shone silver in the sunlight. She would perch on the edge of a cliff and hour upon hour, she would ponder on the behaviour of humans who frequented the bay below. She could see no purpose in their actions and thought it best to stay clear of them. For some reason, which she did not understand, she felt great anguish. When she wanted to be freed of this fee...
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Reviews
I enjoyed this because it is a bit confusing! Perhaps that reflects the confusion of the writer. It conveys the indecision of adolescence. Do I choose to imitate this because..., or that because...Never quite deciding but going with the flow because... There is such a strong feeling of these thoughts going round and round in your head without ever reaching any conclusion. I thought this was very well written.
Oh this is fun! The kind of gross thing that children love. Am I now to be put off eating peanut butter sandwhiches? The one thing I would change, is the line, "how it got caught there, nobody really knows", I would leave out the "really". It just spoils the flow a bit. In my opinion, of course. Otherwise, I think everything else is dead right. Keep writing! Bernie
Wow! Kind of lost for words here. It is soul searing and very definitely so passionate that one feels an ache of breathlessness. Perhaps it is the repitition of "cannot" that creates the breathlessness. You want to, but you cannot. But do really you want to? Very nice, indeed. Bernie
I liked this because of its simplicity. There is nothing contrived about it - it comes straight from the gut and the pain is laid bare, despite the walls you claim you have built. Even though you say "I never loved you, or thought of you as mine", there is a sense of yearning that you could because you then say, "I think we're losing time". You have expressed yourself so well and effortlessly in your honesty. Well done! Keep writing! Bernie
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