BigNothing's profile

BigNothing avatar
AGE: 27
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 14

My name is Adam. I’m primarily a script-writer, being a part owner of a film production company. I also write poetry and lyrics and have recently begun work on my first novel.

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Reviewer Stats
Items
Quotes / Friends
Version 1
11 Reviews   0 Comments
Good friends give you what you want. Great friends give you what you need.
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / The Moon
Version 1
18 Reviews   6 Comments
I looked out the window at the moon. A beautiful moon. So bright, so imposing. Like something out of a horror movie. I fumbled for my digital camera. I wanted her to see it too. Of course, by the time I'd found the camera and switched it on the moon had disappeared behind some clouds. Of course. It reappeared and this time I was ready. I went out into the back garden, armed with the camera. It wasn't going to get away this time, though it tried. The clouds teased concealment once more. But a ...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Laurie and Jo
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
You might not know it but we have so many memories together What to you is just another conversation to me is something very precious I store as much of it as I can inside, something to remember you by It’s the little things that mean the most to me, y’know? All the different ways you’ve told me you loved me. I notice those things “I have 94% recall…”, “Cut it out” Hey, do you remember that time you went on holiday, And I started reading Little Women so I wouldn’t miss you so much? It didn’t ...
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Poetry / Stepping Stones
Version 1
2 Reviews   1 Comment
Why is it that my love has to travel so far That by the time it reaches you It’s so tired from the journey You don’t even notice it’s there? So I’m left to think of better ways to be near you, Using words as stepping stones That one day I’ll lay across the ocean To carefully traverse, one by one And then my love can take it easy, Find better uses for its energy, Lift you with its caring arms Free of the weariness of travel But until then I’ll just sit here alone And when I want to be near to ...
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Lyrics / We Made A Home
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
We made a home, we furnished it with wicker Living out of boxes 'cause it turned out quicker You told both your parents that you really loved me Your mother, she embraced me, but your father snubbed me We made a home, adorned the walls with pictures I brought my Paul Auster, you brought all the Scriptures We Christened every room before we'd done unpacking Your life was complete but I found something lacking All that time I'd been alone Pretending I was out and hadn't heard the telephone Goin...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
This seems to be a promising start to your story. I'm just worried that this type of story is done so often that you may struggle to find originality. I didn't really feel like i was reading anything i hadn't read before. "Rest also had to come into play, and lately that seemed to come even lesser than feeding." This sentence is clumsily written. I would reword it. I like how strong the opening scene is; immediately you had my attention. I'm not sure about the segway into the flashback scene....
I really like the first paragraph. The 'broken up' thing is really clever. I think you completely lose the plot with all the money talk in the second paragraph. You really lose momentum here. You're setting the scene here, I know, but it just doesn't read well. Not very poetic. And then how it changes suddenly into the poetry with 'The gathering clouds...', it really seemed disjointed. I actually like how this has separate parts to it; the journal entry, the poetry etc, but I don't think this...
Deleted Item
As it is, this seems okay, but there isn't really much here to go on in terms of offering a critique or getting an idea of the quality of the novel itself. I would suggest including more detail in this prologue, something that will make the reader want to seek out the novel. This, although adequately written, doesn't stand out as being anything you couldn't get from a million fantasy books. Why is this one so special? I'd like you to show this in the prologue. Your writing is a little unimagi...
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