BillRetoff's profile

BillRetoff avatar
AGE: 39
LOC: Flanagan, IL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: February 19

I am a musician with an independent label. My music can be heard at myspace.com/billretoff for ballads or myspace.com/williamretoff for faster music.

I have degree in Graphic Arts which has come in handy for doing CD covers.  :)

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Lyrics / Magic Smile
Version 2
6 Reviews   0 Comments
Magic Smile Do you feel the magic? Yes, I know we may be strangers. Still I feel the magic. And, when I see you smiling,that's when I know you're flying high. I see the magic in your smile. I may not fit your pattern of what I'm supposed to do. Let's break out from all patterns, be children of the truth. I ache for you so much,though we've never touched. So, ain't life kind of crazy, baby? Yet, when I see you smiling,that's when I know you're flying high. I see the magic in your smile. Who wo...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / The Tea Party
Version 3
2 Reviews   0 Comments
Let's have a tea party the little girl said I've got a new tea set that's pink and red. I've set the table so pretty and neat, and don't these cookies look good to eat? I'll be the Mamma and you be the child. We must sip our tea; now don't be wild. No, don't slurp, cause that is rude, and Mamma says it's also crude. Now finish your tea, and help me clean the mess you see. Wasn't that fun? I wish we weren't done. In my memory I still can hear the dear little voice so clear, Asking her aunt to ...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / The Tea Party
Version 2
1 Review   0 Comments
Let's have a tea party the little girl said I've got a new teaset that's pink and red. I've set the table so pretty and neat, and don't these cookies look good to eat? I'll be the Mamma and you be the child. We must sip our tea; now don't be wild. No, don't slurp, cause that is rude, and Mamma says it's also very crude. Now finish your tea, and help me clean the mess you see. Wasn't that fun? I wish we weren't done. In my memory I still can hear the little voice so clear and dear. Asking her ...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / The Tea Party
Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
Let's have a tea party the little girl said I've got a new teaset that's pink and red. I've set the table so pretty and neat, and don't these cookies look good to eat? I'll be the Mamma and you be the child. We must sip our tea; now don't be wild. No, don't slurp, cause that is rude, and Mamma says it's also very crude. Now finish your tea, and help me clean the mess you see. Wasn't that fun? I wish we weren't done. In my memory I still can hear the little voice so clear and dear. Asking her ...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Teapots
Version 7
9 Reviews   1 Comment
TEAPOTS Miniature teapots a friend collects, miniature teapots. So a green candle teapot for her I bought. It did not cost a lot. How pretty it looked etched with a Christmas wreath. I knew she would be pleased. At a mall, a nicer teapot caught my eye. Black musical notes would make her smile So I bought it to give Judi. Teapot three I bought at a collector’s shop. Vintage roses looked more appropre I knew I'd found the perfect pot. But, when she rejected the gifts I'd bought With 'Keep it yo...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Novel Treatments / summer girls.
Removed
Good intro--catches the reader's attention. If I was writing this, I would word a little bit differently as below: "If there had been a bit more light, Lisa mused it would have been a photographic moment worth pausing to capture. A bitter laugh escaped her lips as she realized the absurdity of the situation." Strong points: 1) Good introduction 2) logical flow 3) characters' voices are used in conversation The intro makes the reader want to find out why Lisa takes her own life and if it has s...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I think the theme of this piece is pondering the purpose of human existence and what their level is in the universe. I think the last sentence is a little abrupt--perhaps you could lead into the nuclear blast a little bit before announcing there had been one. One moment I'm standing at the edge of a city pondering the existence of mankind. The next moment, is like an abrupt change of subject. But, on the other hand, when one is thinking, thoughts do kind of jump around. So, maybe if you intro...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Poetry / Samhain Poem
Sounds like a bad place to be--Where underworld powers hold tortured souls in grimest embraces... Good symbolism, imagery, and logical flow.
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