Blacktigre's profile
AGE:
23
LOC: Philadelphia, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 28
LOC: Philadelphia, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 28
“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings – words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out… “
This is my attempt..
Casual Poet..
Items
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
Demons conspire to tear you away from His heavenly grace. But you can be saved all that’s required is a tenth of your pay and some faith. We are the judge. Despite His love gates won’t budge for those smudged from within So splash the spiritual solution to begin your infusion with Him. Don't mind the guttural phrases that may be escaping our chest. You will be smothered with praises It’s our elation expressed. Embrace the Lord to chase the hordes of humanities sin. Just plac...
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Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Demons conspire to tear you away from His heavenly grace But you can be saved, All that’s required is a tenth of your pay and some faith We are the judge. Despite His love the gates won’t budge for those smudged from within So splash the spiritual solution to begin your infusion with Him Don’t mind the guttural phrases that may be escaping our chest You’ll be smothered with praises It’s our elation expressed Embrace the Lord to chase the hordes of humanities sin ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
7 Reviews
1 Comment
I keep a close watch on this heart of mine. It has a mind of its own. At times it aligns it self with parts that my spine controls. The in depth reaches of parts that hold speaking seem to become meek when my heart starts to seek them. So excuse my low flow. It may seem like I'm muttering or stuttering to start. Parts of my heart are fluttering. Struggling to keep my cover complete. Compose my souls desires despite denial keeping me weak. I frequently seek ways to compete with the grasp it se...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
2 Comments
The blade is removed from its plastic sheath.. Used for shaving in a past life..no more... Curiosity beckoned unto me... Free me... It whispered with its dull modular thumps... Constantly digging... drilling its message into my mind.. Free me... Free me from this prison designed to keep us apart... Never did the blade seem more beautiful... more appealing... Delicious... As its silvery luster contrasts with the clear unmarked canvas that was once thought of as protection... Its a deterrent.. ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
1 Comment
Luscious lustful layers of soft supple seduction are placed in a space near my face.. All it would take is a stake upon my pride.. refusal is not something i could survive.. not when my stomach churns and my faces aches to press purposefully against eternity.. the urge keeps burning see.. my mind desires it.. just bliss.. no thoughts conspiring to cloud my already opaque irises.. just life.. just lips.. just this.. first kiss..
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wow. At first I was a bit iffy on the parenthesis formatting but after reading it a couple times It started to grow on me. Im wondering if you could get the same effect without them though. I liked that the parenthesized parts tended to be more vibrant and visual than the other parts of each stanza. The piece really embodies the idea that you don't need to be similar to who you fall in love with. wonderful job from what seems to be a seasoned poet
repetition can be a powerful tool if used right. I think this piece doesnt need the repetition provided in first line it'd provide the same effect with one thinking instead of saying it twice. I like the repetition in the last line with saying devoid twice. I think you overuse the ellipsis as well. you can pull it off with the last line but its not needed elsewhere. the lines where you have pain/strain/disdain seem a bit forced rhyme wise. Overall its a decent attempt. hopefully you start wri...
good beginning for a piece on society. you contradict yourself a bit when you said we are effortless in our individual magnificance but trapped within society. seems to me that a magnificent individual would defy the chains of society. Maybe something more realistic would be.. attempting to be effortless with individual magnificence. The skeletons crawling line was unclear. did you mean we lack substance? how does one leave behind a skeleton that crawls.. hmm id like to see this expanded.
wow.. This is one of the most heartfelt things ive read. Maybe because i can relate somewhat to the main character being the first generation born in America from a carribbean background. You depicted the separation between this newer generation and the older beautifully. I felt the pain emanating from both characters. You also were amazingly descriptive and it helped me form a very clear picture of the events you wrote about. Simply amazing and deserving of being published
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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