I liked this piece. Seems to embody the fury of the vegetarian from what I read. Quotes like "filleting my flesh".."boiled in your inner juices" and other fairly vivid descriptions of cooking brought me to this conclusion. I hope i was correct in my assumption. Either way.. good write

I enjoyed this piece. From what I read it seemed to be a about a deceased loved one. You tell a hauntingly beautiful tale of past love. It flowed very well. I especially liked the last words referencing the alchemy of a crooked line. unique referance.. There are a couple grammatical errors here and there "Into an arm that weren’t real" werent should be wasn't. small stuff. Good write

Hmm.. I get the message you are trying to convey but I think the title is a little deceiving/mis representative. I saw CRIMSON and I expected something a little darker. Descriptions like "bright vibrant light","This blinding smile" and "golden cage" go completely against what crimson represents for me. It seems like you just placed crimson in the poem without any real reference to the color. Any other color could easily be put in its place. Id either rethink the title and go with this live yo...

Seems incomplete. But i do like the imagery youve started here. You have a good beginning. I would extend it a bit.

I dont think music needs to be stated right from the beginning as the topic. A little mystery goes a long way in pieces like this. I also dont think the repetition you have going is necessary to get your point across.. "Every night. Every night.", "How is it that my words, These words*** How is it that these words". I found that it slowed up the piece and took away from the wine metaphor. Otherwise I liked it. It could be tweaked quite a bit though.

I dont know if this really counts as a romance story. Seems like youre just talking to someone. I guess thats fine.. Id cut down on those caps though, it seems abrasive..Good advice for males though. Most females I know operate this way. Stalking is bad.

My main critisism would have to be the readability. I think the piece would read better if you just put spacing every time you say I believe. It gets a little repetitious.I enjoyed the message of the piece and I believe in it as well :)

I was so drawn into the piece at first that I had to read it several times to take a step back to critique. Excellent usage of language.. so descriptive that your words paint the scene as I read it.. What I would omit is the repetition of words you have going. Dancing dancing, Pale pale, etc etc. It doesnt add anything and these words arent of particular worth to merit reinstatement. It just halts the flow for me. Thats all I could find.. I had to hold the magnifying glass up.. Wonderful expr...