Hello, A sincere rhyming poem about an issue that causes the poet concern. This seems old fashioned in a cynical postmodern world where convention is derided and earnestness abandoned. And yet surprisingly the gravity and humanity of the voice overturns all of these fashionable tastes and even further forces the literati to blush in shame. Your poem is naive, outmoded, anachronistic and somehow extremely winning. I am confounded. Great work Bosco.

Hello, What I liked: Sarcastic jab at shallow, fake and insincere (beautiful?) people. What I didn't like 1)Title, too obvious, garish and clunky. Maybe keep it sarcastic e.g "your beautiful smile" 2)brackets (a short Poem shouldn't need the explanations inherant to brackets (in my view anyway (for what it counts))). 3)Repetition (honest, come to, aren't we etc.) it's not a song, it's a poem. All words have to work hard at justifying their inclusion. 4)Word choice. There is an absense of care...

Hello This is surprisingly good. Sounds so natural it is strange that it is original. Reminiscent of "a picture tells a thousand words" without being overshadowed by this. Good work and good luck in the contest. Bosco

T, I'm out of my element here so go easy on me. Overview. The effects of having a member of the family who suffers from a mental illness are profound and complex. You have chosen a heavy task. This is a story so often mis-handled that there is both great opportunity and great dangers. That you seem to have begun with Ann's mixture of love and (below the surface) resentment of her sister is to me a good sign and speaks of insider understanding. There is a conflict between an ideal of selfless ...

Hello, Good six worder, fluid and memorable. But your inner child will need fake i.d. B

Hello, I was deeply interested in this piece. It was written from a perspective of both great maturity with great humility. The choice between a curiosity and adventure-seeking fueled hedonism, through which great discoveries and revelations can be made being weighed up against a more ascetic existence which, although more demanding and without instant gratification, may hold the grand prize of self-realization. I think there is a clarity of thought and a relevance to contemporary society tha...

T, You're fun, this is fun. I'm enjoying the read. SO: She avoids her father who is a bit of a prick (marlies and icy eyes) and this suppressed emotional trauma (sexual abuse?) sends her out to pick up a randomer for a drunken fumble, not for the first time either obviously? Classy! Well: 1) Too, too fast. Whassa hurry eh? 699 words, and we've had a huge revelation, what are you writing, a novella, an opera? 2)All the things Marvin said, (even the "spotted leopard" gag, har-har) 3)Can you giv...

Hello, Overview I read this as a class-based attack on organized religion and the hierarchical/fuedalist structure that it tends to support where the little guy has to just take it up the proverbial and be grateful for it. Also the possible pun on Psalm made it a possible attack on American Capitalism. I'm often wrong but just to let you know where my review is coming from in case I am wide of the mark. Details 1)Nice title. 2)line2 cut "down" 3)l3 "Ne'er we saw" I prefer the more commonplace...

Pat, El Dia de los muertos eh? You been hanging out in Mexico with Keroac and Cassidy again? 1)Bumping into an ex (wife/co-habiting partner - exit) 2)To me: I'll miss her fiery nature, even all the arguments. I think wind has an unfortunate double meaning. 3)I bumped into the ex after a period apart and was struck with the force of what had originally captivated me about her that time/arguments/resentments/etc. had obscured. I realized that the things I loved were the things that drove us apa...

Hi, Interesting. You need a possessive apostrophe on the first "one[']s". Best of luck with it. Alternatively : "one's very essence, a boundless muse" B