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BrookR1's profile
AGE:
38
LOC: Murrieta, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 15
LOC: Murrieta, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 15
I’m a technical writer with a wounded poetic voice.
Items
Version 1
12 Reviews
0 Comments
Soft French Bread Unbleached white flour Water, salt, dough conditioner, and ascorbic acid. Cheese Cultured, pasteurized milk from cow number 1012388439, special cheese culture, salt, and miscellaneous enzymes scraped from some anonymous petri dishes. Ham Cured with water, salt, sugar, potassium fucking lactate, sodium phosphates (to prevent rotting of the pig meat), sodium dia... diacetate, a sprinkle of sodium erythorbate(for flavor), and for the hell of it, a little sodium nitrite. Expires...
Version 1
21 Reviews
2 Comments
I rode through suburbia and felt the summer breeze run her fingers through my hair. And I stared at a woman on her bicycle and admired her soft hips and strong thighs. She passed a sparrow that landed on the street to take a sip of water from the gutter. A car chased the sparrow away. Probably the same one that hit the 'possum a mile back. I ate a few of the bugs that hovered around the 'possum. It gets harder to spit as you get older. It might just be the unbearable heat or the vinegar I dri...
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Reviews
Great images, realization and all tied up nicely at the end. The section breaks, while a little unconventional, seem to work well with this. Almost like steps to a recipe.
Very deep and thought provoking. I read it several times and it got better each time I read it. I almost came away with a new meaning each time. I like the imagery.
"Stumbling over your words" is a great line. I think I might have let the poem end here instead of further explaining (vs. showing) how you feel. Nice work.
Oh yes...you've captured the true essence of this beast. Too well for me, which is why this poem is very good. I can see her, but worst of all hear her. Nice poem. :)
One of the best poems I've read in a long time. Simple, accessible, with great images and meaning. The only thing I found a little awkward was the phrase "why did not I". I would be easier to read if it were "why I did not". Thanks
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