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Brunny's profile
AGE:
39
LOC: Australia
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 01
LOC: Australia
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 01
There is little yuou need to know about me that will help you read my work, I don’t take myself too seriously but do expect serious reviews and will not hesitate to askfor a refund for anything less than a 10 that has no faults mentioned.
Enjoy the time with my words
Items
Version 2
1 Review
2 Comments
*Part 1 - Her* 1 From the anonymity of the mirror above the bar, sitting on a padded chrome barstool, Maddy browsed the room. Sipping a champagne cocktail, she smiled inwardly, without checking her watch she knew Sandy was late. He was such a contradiction it made her giggle; he was always exactly 30 minutes late. Romano’s was never Maddy’s style of bar, too quiet and shady. A born again club junkie much more at ease in the tense pumping world of the strobe next door. Despite being a good ten...
Version 1
5 Reviews
4 Comments
*Part 1 - Her* 1 From the anonymity of the mirror above the bar, Maddy sitting on a padded chrome barstool, browsed the room. Sipping her one and only champagne cocktail of the night, she smiled inwardly, without checking her watch she knew Sandy was late. He was such a contradiction it made her giggle; he was always exactly 30 minutes late. Romano’s was never Maddy’s style of bar, too quiet and shady. A born again club junkie, she was much more at ease in the tense pumping world of the strob...
Version 2
0 Reviews
0 Comments
1 The bar is pleasant, the low lighting gentle on the eyes, a steady beat from the disco bar next door makes its presence felt without upsetting the regulars. Approaching the bar I stand over your shoulder, you feel my presence, instinctively checking your dress, you flick your hair over your collar. Our eyes meet in the whisky mirror as if by accident, they lock in combat for a heartbeat longer than normal. Acknowledging this stolen moment we both smile as we look away, the kind of smile tha...
Version 1
16 Reviews
12 Comments
_One of these people will die today_ Amy occupies the left corner seat of the carriage, her luminous white earphone cord striking against her perfectly tanned skin. At a very petite eighteen, Amy would not want the world to know what it was Beethoven tickled, despite being dead for a good number of years his wicked charms still had potency. She regularly felt let down by the 3 minute rushed affairs and much preferred a guy that knew how to make things last even if he were a little old. After ...
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Reviews
Nice thought process, need some grammar work to make it flow as you intended. prehaps 'the lingering thoughts of desire' might work better. The content itself is very true, you must live to have a life, the ups and downs are life itself. Hope this helps Best wishes
Not sure about this or where you are going, I read your previous dogicide work a little while back. An introduction is a tool to introduce people, a concept, a scene or a senario that is required by the reader to understand the story. It is used to provide information or background that can't otherwise be put into a story. eg a brutal murder of a women 30 years ago. If the only connection to the murder the characters in the story have is the fact that it occurred on their anniversary it would...
This was a little confusing to read, it seemed like a lot of generalised macro thoughts and then micro thoughts slipped in. Not really sure what the trip was about and don't know if if I amde it from A to B. I think you've got a lot of descritives going on in your head, you should maybe come up with a storyline to make use of them a little better as i'm not sure what you could do with this piece. Hope this helps a little Best wishes
Short stories I can understand poetry I have great difficultly getting, I can understand you are trying to get somewhere but it is too much for me to grasp. Either do one or the other, I think you have the material inside for both but combined its neither. Hope this helps
I guess until you decide the text will remain a bit of a going nowhere thing. I got the idea about stories but no real stories which I think is what you need to provide. What is the significance of the green beans ? and who is questioning their relative value with people stories ? You need to have a idea of what you want to say or tell otherwise you won' t say anything. Good luck
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