Butterat_Zool's profile

Butterat_Zool avatar
AGE: 26
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 19

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Items
Poetry / Friends
Version 1
6 Reviews   7 Comments
Perhaps the first step Is to realize that you and I Have different definitions Of Friendship. While I feel That I have nothing to gain From fleeting "How are you?"s In stolen moments And public fora, It seems you thrive on that very thing. I see you flutter through Oceans of damp strangers, Giving each one pause With the hope that they will feed you Stories, Wisdom, or Lies Enough to engage Your manic innocence. I wait quietly, Armed to the teeth with Economists, Philosophers, Monas...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
6 Reviews   6 Comments
1. How do you become the best In an art steeped in Grand similitude, With boxes upon boxes Shorn cleanly to standa Rds measured in heliu M-neon lasers, and pol Ished to six-sigma mar Gins of error? 2. I wish you could see What's become of your majesty. Like the Han, the Stuart, the Khanate, Cruel time has eroded Your brilliancies That they may be doled Forth like borsht, be Slurped up and Shat Out By less creative men. 3. As you relax into the soil, Take pride in the fact that you lived Lo...
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Poetry / Day 9311
Version 2
7 Reviews   9 Comments
 I am haunted, of late By a continuing perception Of the Supreme Plainness In which I exist. Despite grand authorities, Respect for my elders, And the omnidirectional Pressures of societal navigation, The brightest light Remains the one directly observed, Without mirrors, ciphers, medicines, or proof. People grope daily For easy translations Of their deepest apprehensions. Cautious, I advise "Just Do the work yourself." But secretly, I fear They might name me "Priest."
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Poetry / Day 9311
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
 I am haunted, of late By a continuing perception Of the Supreme Plainness In which I exist. Despite grand authorities, Respect for my elders, And the omnidirectional Pressures of societal navigation, The brightest light Is the one directly observed, Without mirrors, ciphers, medicines, or proof. People grope daily For easy translations Of their deepest apprehensions. Cautious, I advise "Just Do the work yourself." But secretly, I fear They might name me "Priest."
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Loose Rhyme '08
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
 I spoke my mind, You crossed a line, And so we sang Of gin and wine And witnessed falls In three-fourths time Against the walls Of cherry-lime. You brushed your hair And flew through snow And lit a fire down below With all that you refused to know And so I plotted in my heart A way to keep up with your artful Scheming and your constant dreaming That our souls will never part. And in a torrid love affair, A torrent of your lovely hair Encroaching on my empty stare For eons wilts my bloss...
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Reviews
I am uncertain of what exactly you are describing here. I get the sense that the persona's baby girl was taken away somehow, I'm thinking that she might have died of SIDS... second guess would be an abortion. Am I close? The repetition that you used felt creative and engaging at the start of the poem, but as I read it, it struck me as a deeply serious or sad poem, at which point the repetition became distracting. Since you made one of your goals to "amuse/entertain", i'm hoping though that I'...
Poetry / Mistake
I am loving the simple language you've chosen here. Your short sentences made of easy words has really created the "simple-minded" effect that you speak of. It makes me think "childlike"... However, you continue to starve me of the details I crave. As long as you speak of "things", as in line 4, and not things, as in "trees", "vampires", "charcoal", your poetry will continue to be a private activity, shared with the world, for which you yourself will only ever truly know the meaning. What cou...
What a sexy poem! In lines 8 and 25, you used the word "bare", when you should have used "bear", but that's the only thing I don't like about this piece. Incredibly effective use of pronouns. They seem to be referring to not only physical parts, but also the roles that those parts play in the continuation of humanity and our culture. Men and women are boiled down to that specifically which makes man man and woman woman, and in doing so, you make insightful gains on questions like "What makes ...
It's been a while since I've reviewed poetry, so forgive me if I don't live up to you expectations. When I see the word "serpent", i'm thinking "Satan", or some kind of evil being or force. That being said, I read the first stanza as "The devil took away some part of my existence. There is an empty hole where there used to be something valuable to me, and now I find myself distracted, spending all of my time thinking about, or trying to remember what used to be there." The second stanza conti...
Poetry / Faerie Dreams
I generally hate love poems on the mere fact that they can so easily deviate from artistic to sentimental. For you though, this poem shines more strongly as a kind tribute rather than dwelling on the mushy side of things. That being said, I think that even a poem of this caliber has only earned you the right to use the word "love" one time, and I think that line 5 is the best use in this piece. Lines 9 and 10 are the only spot where this poem becomes bad. Don't tell me about your bleeding hea...