ITEMS (3)
Callirhoe's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Iowa City, IA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 15
LOC: Iowa City, IA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 15
‘Tis pleasure, sure, to see one’s name in print;
A book’s a book, although there’s nothing in ‘t.
—George Gordon Noel Byron, Sixth Baron Byron
Items
Version 1
17 Reviews
22 Comments
"Sev?" The sweat not even dried yet, Sev still catching his breath. Rolls over, murmurs a meaningless sound into the pillow. "Sev?" Iyaz's hands on his cheeks. The warm metallic touch of the engagement band on his finger like a cut, like a shackle. "I love you. So much, so, so much." And it isn't what Sev wants to hear. Silence, quiet, hoping he's done, he'll go to sleep. They don't have to talk. "Sev? Sevilin?" Wounded, hot heartblood flowing. How can he not know by now? "Iyaz. Schatz." And ...
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Reviews
This is about watermelons? Huh. I didn't catch that. ;-) In any case, I love a lot of what you're doing with language in this poem. There's so much in here that just sounds fantastic: the alliteration and consonance and the rhythm of the sounds, the varied line lengths, the emphasis drawn by those short two-foot lines. I'm in awe of your use of sound here. Very very fabulous. As for content, I love the imagery of that third stanza, in which you describe the landscapes of the moon, which could...
I like this poem a lot. I think the thing that really catches me about it is the simplicity of the language contrasted with the complexity of the thoughts. I like the phrase "the devil's sense of direction," especially. Very interesting poem! Well-written, concise, and intriguing.
Ha! I loved the ending of this. Very nice. I love the suspense of the story, as the question is raised: are these tricks truly magic or are they only illusions? The story brings us right up to the moment when the truth _should_ be exposed, and then drops the reader flat. Really intriguing. I enjoyed the story a lot, especially the lavish depictions of the magic, which only increased the suspense and heightened the interest in the final denouement, which then never actually comes. Very nice wr...
This is a very intriguing and well-written poem -- nice work! The references to all the different religions and religious figures makes the "chorus" (I'm just the messenger...) quite poignant. It's a very thoughtful piece, and I really like the way the different themes and repetitions of form and ideas are woven together so seamlessly. You do an excellent job with most transitions. There are a few lines in here that seem needlessly burdened or complicated with too-similar words -- the one I'm...
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