Carina's profile

I like where this is going although I think it could be expanded upon. Maybe it is only half finished. I also wish I didn't read the explanation before it because it may have affected me differently had I not known what your intention was. I think the quotation marks around "mere existence" are unnecessary and don't add to the meaning. I would really expand upon the ideas it doesn't seem to be enough to really express what you are trying to say. Nice work.

I don't know why you are reluctant. You have a lot to say. I find the tone of this to be somewhat meek and sad but gaining strength. I think you could get even stronger towards the end, but maybe you are not ready for that yet. I find the quotation marks around "wisdom" to be a bit mysterious and maybe that is what you intend. It is so important to write about this type of realization. I think you should keep writing and gain strength as you do, either in this piece or new writing. It all fee...

I actually think using a past date is clever, given the final line. I think this is well done, the only word I would possibly rethink is "against"...since the words are so critical you may be able to find a more powerful word than this. But this is lovely.

I think the repetition of the words is effective. I was not thrilled with the introduction of "lingerie" as I feel that tends to "cheapen" the purity of the love aspect and maybe plays up the lust aspect but maybe that was intentional. I like the repeated use of the word "awkward" as I feel it expresses well the feeling intended. I am not sure I like the last line, perhaps it could be stronger. Nice work overall.

I really like the imagery, I can feel the rain and the feelings that it brings on. I am not sure about the last line, it left me a little confused and unsatisfied. I think you were going in the right direction with this piece and I can even see it being a little bit longer. I feel the ending is abrupt and I would like to enjoy the feeling longer. Perhaps if you re-think the final word, it would be stronger. But overall a very nice piece of poetry.