ITEMS (3)
CascadeFalls's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 21
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 21
OUT DOOR MOVIES
“You know its true when everybody stares into the sun
A feeling spreads across the billions,
You know a smile can change a day and a day can change a life
So why is everybody waiting?
love is blind
i’m missing you dearly
FULL NAME: Amanda Lynn -—--
NICKNAMES: Ama-Chan
DATE OF BIRTH: August 8…
Items
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Lightly drifting in the breeze we part our ways. Clutching tightly to the dream never to escape, never. Someday we will return hoping that it will be the finally one. I watching, waiting, ha, the waiting is killing me, I can't stand it. Clutching tighter, I don't want to let you go…but, Bye, I suppose, vanish...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
5 Reviews
3 Comments
Jade looked out her window as little droplets of rain sporadically hit the glass. Walking over to the sill, she looked down at the street. The rain had caused everything to become wet. The scenery made her feel more depressed than she already was. Her life had changed in a blink of an eye. She had no friends; no feeling of purpose, and the only person that could help her, wasn't there. Packing her things and moving away from all she knew, all she loved, took strength she no longer possessed. ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
Jade looked out her window as little droplets of rain sporadically hit the glass. Walking over to the sill, she looked down at the street. The rain had caused everything to become wet. The scenery made her feel more depressed than she already was. Her life had changed in a blink of an eye. She had no friends; no feeling of purpose, and the only person that could help her, wasn't there. Packing her things and moving away from all she knew, all she loved, took strength she no longer possessed. ...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
Everything comes with an expiration date. But that is true. That's why so people have to get those surgeries over and over again.
I enjoyed this a lot. The story flowed well and there was great contrast in how one word could be taken in each situation. And by beginning this piece with Eep, it made me want to read more to why someone would say it. I look at Eep in a completely different way now.
Reminded me of Mother's day. How most mothers aren't treated like they would want to be. But it was funny. The last few lines tied the rest of the story in quite nicely. Though, it felt a bit sketchy. Might want to create a more concise visual of what is going on. As well, I'm not sure if the Second Person approach made the piece work.
Hum...it was interesting. I'm not sure if I like the style. More detail is needed for the situation, I think. As well, maybe more insight in what the character is thinking and I was unsure on the reaction he experienced when he saw the disaster. Not sure if it felt realistic. But it does make me want to know what happened to the city and if he'll be able to take to Stephanie.
Hum. I can see a lot of potential for the plot. There were some things that you could improve on though. MORE SHOWING! You tell the reader about how Vira is an artist, but instead of saying that she was trained with the master, you should show that by comparing her works to that of others. Just more detail in general is needed. I also felt that it was a bit wordy. It could be a bit more concise. In some parts, such as when you mention that Lucifer comments on the landscape, this paragraph bug...
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
