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Celestial's profile
AGE:
29
LOC: Brighton, MA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 03
LOC: Brighton, MA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 03
What’s there to say? I’m a children’s writer. Been writing for as long as I can remember. I volunteer for Horizon’s for Homeless Children in hopes that the wonderful kids I volunteer for will inspire me to write that one great story I know is in me.
I live in Boston working as a Document Specialist for Mass General Physician’s Org creating newsletters and documents for the Training and Development team and I love it. I get to write and be creative which for me can’t be beat.
I have an orange kitty who is just as crazy as I am and I wouldn’t replace him for another kitty in the world. Well maybe . . .
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3 Reviews
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smiling faces starring back at me those smiles don’t exist anymore fake smiles are what I see fake smiles behind fake eyes in the arms of revenge and hate holding in their arms children of innocence and love love doesn’t live here anymore it lurks in the shadows afraid to surface scared of those fake smiles
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Version 1
20 Reviews
1 Comment
Tommy had a problem he couldn’t tie his shoe mom and dad were not around he didn’t know what to do Tommy had a problem he had to figure it out he couldn’t walk around with his laces all about Tommy had a problem so he began to try one lace over the other in the hole and tie Tommy had a problem he was almost there a loop with one lace the other stays bare Tommy had a problem one more step to go around the corner under the bridge and then pull like so. Tommy fixed his problem he was so proud he...
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Version 1
14 Reviews
0 Comments
Two days ago my father died. Even now, as Sarah and I look at caskets, there is little emotion on my face. I cannot seem to shed one tear. “You just haven’t dealt with it yet,” Sarah says to me, “you guys were close. It has to effect you.” I begin to think about my relationship with my father. “Hey, Lily can you come in for a minute?” Dad said to me one Saturday night when I was thirteen. I walked into his office. “What do you think?” He held up a silver necklace with the letter E as a penda...
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It's a good start. I like the concept of the house having a dark history to it and Emma having to come to terms with her new home. I would liven up the prologue a bit. A prolouge is away to peek the readers interest. Get them wanting to know more. As it stands, based on the prologue alone and no notes, I wouldn't be too interested in reading the rest of the book. This paragraph is more of a Chapter 1 beginning. The prologue should have a bit of action to it, a mystery. Maybe the first time Em...
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It feels a bit drawn out. I like the concept of the turtles being snatched, but you might want to rewrite this story by adding some more action. Have the turtles try to escape prior to the sink. Maybe Forgetful and Hookwarm can try escaping and that's how the cat gets Forgetful. You also included many extra characters, I started to get confused. You already have five main characters with the turtles, the extras feel a bit overcrowded in the story. You have a nice foundation with the storyline...
You've got my attention which is always a good thing to a start of a book. This paragraph catches the readers and leaves them wanting more. Keep at it.
Ok, now I'm a bit curious. Is there an introduction to these stories? Maybe an intro to the book? I'm just wondering how all the stories tie into one another. It sounds like it's a collection of stories that will make up this Destroy the Moon book. Am I correct? If so, they're going to need to flow into one another to make the book interesting. The story themselves are funny and unique. I'm just curious how they will fit together in one binding.
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