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ChaosIncarnate's profile
AGE:
20
LAST LOGIN: November 10
LAST LOGIN: November 10
This is the second peer-to-peer editing website that I have joined. I greatly enjoy the other one (allpoetry.com) and I look forward to enjoying this one as well.
I don’t like rhyme or meter so please don’t suggest I add those to my poetry. It’s just not my style, except in very rare instances.
I love imagery.
I see metaphors in everything. Literally.
I love my laptop. Not literally.
Change is where beauty lies.
I love to read but only if it’s amazing.
“Forgiveness” is not in my vocabulary.
I love film as an artform.
I love to read so send me a message if you’d like me to read something of yours. I would be more than happy to once I get the time, which is in very short supply in my life.
Thanks for …
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Version 1
6 Reviews
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“Faster…” A whisper came towards her through the mist and she ran. “Faster…” She thought herself running away from the voice but she heard it grow louder. “Faster, faster, faster…” The chant was growing in volume. No matter which direction she ran the voices only intensified, the mist grew denser, more like cloud, as the trees thinned out… Suddenly, she saw the canopy of evergreens below her while above her floated the chanters; great gaping holes as faces, leather for hands with nails made o...
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Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
Stings on acidic bodies melting at the touch of wood, something hewn from nothing-- shapeless, lifeless, speechless under the eyes of morning. Triangles of wings thrown from windy skies; once a friend, always a foe. A progression leading to nothing but starry nights cut out of sky-scraper construction paper. Untouchable lives lived from boulder- covered mountains with soil too dry to hold a seed.
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The one problem I have with this poem is the lack of puncutation. I think that a few commas and semi-colons here and there would let it flow much better and just make it easier to read all around. Other than that, excellent poem. I hold to the statement that real emotions make good poetry and you have those here. I love the lines "when it's over you'll sit/closer than before." I think that's a wonderful discription of how many relationships are. Excellent job. ~Danni
I love the power behind this poem. The passion is so real and the feelings are amazing. You can't have good poetry without either of those things so congrats on mastering them. The imagery in this poem is wonderful and the metaphors are amazing. The second line struck me as particularly powerful. You're a wonderful poet and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. ~Danni
I absolutely love how you brought this poem full-circle. And the symbolism behind that old man speaks to me. The imagery that you create with the playground is amazing. Themes of childhood and innocence are favorites of mine and this poem really hit a nerve in me. Thank you very much for sharing this poem and for commenting on my poem. xoxo ~Danni
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Wow. I'm not even going to pretend to understand that I understand half the religious references in this poem. But I love it. This is an amazing poem and I hope that you keep writing. Excellent work. xoxo ~Danni
I think this is an amazing work. Honest and straight forward, passionate but not without intelligence. We need more work like this. Excellent imagery. xoxo ~Danni
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