CharlesB's profile

CharlesB avatar
AGE: 22
LOC: Wheat Ridge, CO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 30

I’m a casual writer…

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Poetry / Untitled
Version 1
10 Reviews   0 Comments
That crow was the first living animal I'd seen. That goddamn crow. Flying high above this scortched Earth. while I sit feeling like bacon. sizzling in gods forsaken skillet. The crow flew, high and by with a ka-kaw taunting me with obscene laughter. I knew what he was saying, "Hey, pitiful man, enjoy your breath cause when its gone and you're dead I will pick your bones clean and you will be forgotten a bleached skeleton resting in the sand and my belly will be full." I took a sip of warm wat...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Misery
Version 1
10 Reviews   0 Comments
When you sweat in your sleep on the streets or in the park with your clothes on and don't know where you are. Stubbed toes and hang nails. Rotten eggs and spoiled milk. When you have a dry glass or an empty one, Too much drink and you're legless from whiskey or legless at all. A bug bite you can't scratch and a zit you cant pop. Gum on the soles of your shoes, or a rock stuck in the grooves. When the radio's on and you just missed your favorite song. The old haggard car with one head light no...
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Poetry / Euphoria
Version 1
12 Reviews   0 Comments
There’s a poison creeping And its killing me, A desperate man’s vivid dream. There’s a ghost singing And its calling me, Soothing into endless sleep. This body’s been bled And the human rind lies twisted Dried wrinkled leather Empty hollow, Time’s forgotten murder. There’s the opiate teasing And its tempting me, An anemic man’s iron cuff. There’s a mother superior And she spoils me, Rotting into wicked being. These hands are tired Clenched in fraught eternal prayer Filthy calloused flesh Ruin...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
12 Reviews   1 Comment
Before you come over, Would you cake mud on your, Face Or maybe put a bag on your head. Cause when I see that you’re clean, I’m like melting ice cream. Dripping to the floor And half of me is wasting. Your skin commends A murderer for his sins. And no one has anything On your flesh nearly combusting. The devil couldn’t get any hotter, If he sweat boiling water. I’d like to thank your mother, And father For putting one inside the other, And nine months later, Birthing a girl that does cater To...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Untitled 1
Version 2
14 Reviews   0 Comments
I want my tongue lashings to spill your blood, so it can flow through all these pages and stain them. And your tears to rain through, to wash away the words and leave me with a blank crimson surface, to write a happy ending. I want you to eat my pain, then vomit the emotions you never felt. And the acidic lies to burn away the lips That never spoke the words I wanted to hear. I want my anger to crush you, as it did me. Then break every imperfect bone in your body into perfection. And still ne...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Children's / Sticky Stan
Great rhyme scheme. Great story. And great moral ending. This has essentially everything a children's book needs, minus the sweet illustrations. This is a great piece, really loved it. I have no serious issues with the poem. Great job. Oh, and next time, not brief the reviewer by telling them you're not a writer/poet or anything of the sort... it allows us to prejudge and will skew your reviews.
This is a very vivid piece. Excellent descriptions, and generally just a well written poem. I'm glad that you let someone else structure it, sometimes the reader knows how to build a poem to suit the best way to read. My main problem with the piece is this sentence "The sunflowers seem to lose their will… to live." Using the three period thing (sorry I forgot the actual name of it) denotes a long pause, with this sentence its too much. It seems pushed and I feel is unnecessary. You should jus...
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I can see that you have talent. The way you describe things like, "Savoring your nicotine-flavored morning breath" is easily understandable, but still profoundly descriptive. The breakdown of stanzas by time however, is kind of unnecessary. The reader would understand the progression of time without the preface prior to each stanza. Or, you could just incorporate a line dedicated to describing the time without actually telling the reader. Make us think a bit. The whole thing on warming a few ...
Poetry / The love talker
This has a classic poetic nature to it. The wording, structure, and occasional rhyme scheme, do it excellent credit. I enjoyed reading it to the end. For the most part, I didn't really mind the repetition in the beginning of each stanza, Especially since you strictly adhered to your own "rule," great job. I like all the description and use of analogy/metaphor. favorite line "got drunk on water cool as honey-wine and teased the tickling minnows with my toes" Excellent work.