I like the vibe it sends, however, i think a more appealing title can help bring in more readers, perhaps Unsure or Debatable?

I would say that the second line needs one more syllable, lapped seems like one instead of two. Also, the first line goes over to the second, giving them a connected, yet unconnected feel

I am trying to understand the message of Good x Heavy. It still seems a little blurry where you want the theme to lie. Although, the lines are very poetically written

The word choice is very nicely done, in comparison with the title, it really brings out the theme.

I really like it. You have a good start and i think that it could be developed into something more. You have develpoed your characters very nicely in th short page that you have so far. Nice Work!

This is a very powerful piece. And very relatable to those who have had a miscarrige or know someone who has had one. I dont know if it is a typo or an accident but the little /> thing before broken, is that supposed to be there?

It really tells a short story in the small amount of words you have. I think a little tweaking of the second line would be good, it sounds a bit out of place and takes away some of the pieces flow

I think overall it is a very nice piece. The only thing i would work on is having a rhyme pattern. there are parts that have three lines in a row that rhyme or a close enough and then there are whole stanza's that have no rhyme at all. If that is fixed it will flow just a bit better, but, what you have is very well written

Great piece of flash fiction writng! I did however, find a typo in the 4th paragraph that starts "there moments ago" you say 'I know could catch the eye..' but i think there should be another I after know. Other than that, keep working!

A great story. You established your plot very well, which can be hard in a story this short. I would change the title because of the ever-so-popular Twilight books, but keep it near that area. The title brought me in very well. You also did a very nice job conveying an ominous mood throught the story, it was consistent.