Cirrus_Minor's profile

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AGE: 22
LOC: Canada
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 05

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Item Stats
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Items
Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
Wake from your dreams and pull your eyes down over your tears we won’t wait for you today Now stand up and swallow your stress your cries will go, unheard but I still won’t let you rest alone Hear me breathe and taste my scorn let it choke and ravage your mind So feel my seed and fight my war take a ride into the sunless tide So breathe just one breath and hold onto that air for a while you only get so much today Take a look but only one look or I’ll eternally blind you of time and won’t let ...
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Lyrics / A Dream of Today
Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
Solemnly, a leaf inspires and sways along the wind And deep within the callow minds that mold and shape the current times A genuine thought is faintly voiced but doesn’t shine on through the light and all that’s ever seen is gold No one tries to understand and no one gives an honest hand So I collect the ostracized and try to mend them the best I can Now I wander through the lane layed out with blue rain and worry before I noticed the vacant tears of the people They all fall from the same eye...
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Lyrics / Altered Shades
Version 1
3 Reviews   1 Comment
A crystalline sky of blue paints over the day all seems pleasant all seem true not until a sea of green floods the masterpiece are the true colours shown reds of brimstone and conforming greys rush through the thick liquid beauty inseminating all that I knew I held the green pigment close to my heart and found it warmed my mind yet through all the distortion and illogical proportions I could go back to it over time Not until my new day had adjusted and the colours had settled did a new hue pr...
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Lyrics / Wandering Dreams
Version 1
3 Reviews   3 Comments
A blossoming rose stays wrapped in itself waiting for me to notice to bloom I quietly move along attached to myself painstakingly blind to the view I move amongst the world combing it for love until I notice the eyes before me I take a breath as the rose begins to sway and unwraps into elegance and beauty I only grasped it lightly scared of the taint in us all and the possibility that I fall past where I know In a moment it was caught along the wind and danced and swayed away from my tearing ...
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Version 1
6 Reviews   4 Comments
Words catch fire and flame with a fury that only we will ever know Many years pass as I discover the grass which spreads the searing glow Too scolded to see what I have come to love and all that is serene You took the free ride while I walked my own path two different shades of green The war cries aren’t heard and no lives are lost but there is pain just the same You were taught to speak words not to think obscure and live without questioning the reign The swirling rain droplets drip down my ...
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Reviews
Flash Fiction / Commitment
This is the first time I've read any flash fiction, and I enjoyed it. Now I'm curious, was he (you) aware of the fact that she was expecting a ring? I'm assuming so, but does that speak of her character or his? Is she too hasty, or is he just not interested that deeply? I'm not sure what you're going to take this as, but thank you regardless for the read.
Lyrics / tell me (edited)
I love the way you start, almost as if speaking to an old friend that you care dearly for. It immediately catches my attention because it's something important to you because you're speaking to someone you care for. I really love the next part; "nutmeg forests" and "emerald fields" is very descriptive and fits very well into what is being written. I also love the "yellow suns" and "purple dawns," these kind of descriptive lines really paint a picture for the reader/listener, and they're not c...
I very much like the imagery, but I personally have always been one for poetry that has more of a flow and rhythm to it. Great work nonetheless though.
Deleted Item
How do you plan to sing this as a song, because when the lines are a single word, it throws me off a little. I do like the idea of this, and it's a unique way to be written.
I really like this. It flows very well, and there really isn't a thing that I would change. I was going to mention the 'fumble spectrum' and possibly hint that it doesn't flow, but the more I read it, the more it seems to fit. I especially like the 'voices' bit before the chorus, it fits well and really adds a lot to the song. I also love the 'Curiosity had killed the cat, drove this white rat to madness' line. It's almost as if you're saying something cliché, but for the first time. This may...
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