Claire_D's profile

AGE: 29
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 29

Urbis is a place where manqué writers swim with the professional cash-seekers of the publishing world, in search of a lowly scrap of appreciation, and where those aspirational souls of the doomed printed presses commingle for the largest masturbation contest in the West.

Welcome.

DO: Leave thorough critiques and helpful, specific advice.

DON’T: Leave 50-word dribble and end with the phrase ‘I would love to read more’.

I write thorough critiques since these are the kind most people appreciate and seldom leave.

I am one of the Urbis elite. Do not mess with me.

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Items

Version 1

12 Reviews 20 Comments

A dolorous man, in the sagging swansong of his life, stands hunched over the canon of Dean Koontz with a look of semi-perverse disgust. A crinoline mugwump with satchel eyes and Weltschmerz lips scrutinises the oeuvre of Martin Amis with marked contempt. A bun-headed student in an acrylic sweater funnels ten-pound notes into the till and passes occasional comments on the richness of detail in Kazuo Ishiguro’s early work. I stand before the classics shelf, agog at the £12.99 price tag on a min...

Journal, Diary, & Blogging - Overall

Respect For The Independent Bookshop

Version 1

18 Reviews 28 Comments

The more welcome the dawn, the more welcome the day. It was to the strains of late 1980s indie-pop outfit Adult Net that inveterate Obscurist and Curio Collector Fitz McPatrick arose from his squalid sleeping quarters in drowsy Dumfriesshire. In his realm, the idea was to conduct a life divorced from commercial tedium and explore hidden pleasures removed from the mainstream. This meant a forced love affair with pease pudding. It meant he spent hours indoors in summer watching re-runs of unsuc...

Publishable - Overall

Talent - Overall

Short Story - Overall

Version 1

18 Reviews 36 Comments

Whenever Donna Dram De Fauna, local sex receptacle and town doormat, walks through a room, whether a bedroom, the lavatory of a local beef restaurant or the vacant art museum at the stuffy end of town, one has the strongest urge to close one’s eyes at once and conceal one’s face from probable harm. A common phenomenon around here. Let me make clear the problems of her ghastly character and the strange eye-camouflage outburst that has developed. Born before the drug shortage of the late 1990s,...

Talent - Overall

Short Story - Overall

Version 1

14 Reviews 31 Comments

First, an explanation. Having attended college with a batch of mollycoddled halfwits, I found my attitudes to life at a crossroads with what might be considered ‘acceptable’ behaviour for a normal human being. I dilly-dallied in the realm of unemployment mediocrity for years, writing scabrous filth about my fellow members of society and behaving like an uppity savage. I seemed destined to remain atop the rotten ladders of self-aggrandisement, sneering at the world and boxing myself into a cor...

Journal, Diary, & Blogging - Overall

Memoirs - Overall

Version 1

6 Reviews 5 Comments

I shot a blogger before his sad terminal then laughed as he croaked

Haiku/Senryu - Overall

Best Dead Blogger Haikus

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Reviews

by bravis

The piece begins with a swooning ethanol assault, a disturbingly accurate portrait of someone (a clone from student land) whose gibbering stream-of-consciousness thoughts arrive in such elegantly slipshod slapdash manner as to hurl the reader onto the craggy sidelines of realism right away, taking us into a piece of prose rich in rolling, tumbling freeform sentences that render the reader disoriented, and render the reading experience one from the boozy purlieus of mainstream youth culture in...

by ScorpionHunter

This curious blogku captures the reason for your decline into alcoholism more succinctly than a room full of mumbling former drunks and recuperated bottle-guzzlers ever could. Perfect. Claire

by GiftedSlacker

This is affected bizarro blog nonsense par excellence. You are channelling your poetical soul through the medium of the blog and for this, you should be given a carnation. Many lovely phrases to choose from here, and you evoke for me the image of a tormented poet, writhing on a runny lawn leaking various smelly midsummer flowers, tangling himself up in the albatross of punctuation. Express yourself like this always and forever, and you shall become a blog superstar in the bizarro poetical tra...

by daniel_voicu

This is brilliant Brain Ooze. You are on the cusp of a world-class rant, but through your saturated consumer mind, are only able to produce a half-chewed whimper. The analogy of melting achieves a quasi-poetic quality which is brilliantly shot down in flames with the random bile you express for social networking. Although I disagree about this being terrible, I think your indifference and wickedness earns you extra points for ersatz mischief. These random sentences towards the end provoke a c...

by gting

This is a subtle, understated lament for someone to come and relieve the hell of modern life with their simple presence. We have felt this, and so this miniature blog blob highlights aptly the commotion our emotional bits go through when groping around the murky nothingness of unrequited love. Sublimely succinct mini-blogging. Claire

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MEMBERS (7)

by Keith

by Curtastrophe

by chickiemcweird

by bravis

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