CynicGod's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Australia
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 09
LOC: Australia
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: January 09
I’m a drummer, a lyricist, a singer and a poet.
I write my music for my bands to play, but I submit them to sites like this for inspiration and criticism.
I can deal with any constructive criticism you throw, but if you try anything else, you will be hunted and killed. =D
Items
Version 1
5 Reviews
2 Comments
Elequoent words, a child disturbed A thought in my mind just seems absurd Generally I'm not to take a chance But I've desire to end this trance I found myself beside you, wouldn't you know Too drunk to drive, but not to say hello And as I did, I found, luxury, And it's so clear, I know, why can't you see It's a party, but I'm not party to this It's too coincidental, and it's not bliss But it's near I'll get, and this party's pretty tight I'm hopelessly devoted, at least for the night So we'...
Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
It's not a feeling I take too lightly So many words said I follow blindly 3 in the morning Another wake up What ever happened to the... Lies we spread about that girl Who said those things about you Hopeless days and arms embraced Can’t go on without you Isolate me and you’ll break me And we'll go on forevermore Skipping school and skipping beats Cooling through the summers heats And fire, smoke and wreckage burning Lies and lovely words are twirling now -‘s the hour of disc...
Version 1
3 Reviews
3 Comments
Instigate my Ignorance, Put me on my knees Lead me down a path of virtue You say my soul will lead Open amnesty and heartheart Defeated and decrowned Tell me that they're wrong Because you don't like the way they sound They're sadistic, You're artistic Similarities aside Only you can face my demons Because everyone else lied It's not fair But life's no joke Why do you say Those words that me choke? It's only Through my dreams You get to me And hear my screams Let hear those words again El...
Version 3
5 Reviews
2 Comments
It's a dream, it's holocaustic, And it's not right, and now we've lost it Open curiosity, as your thighs Never had more time for seamless lies So don't wake up, we might just hope In your dreams, we may elope, And die in the arms of lovers foul We shall only hope that faith allows Falling, falling, Hear the rain upon my cheek And it's calling, calling, Never were one to be meek Shush now, don't tell anyone But there's smoke aside my gun And you're caught inside the net Don't you know I'd neve...
Version 2
0 Reviews
0 Comments
It's a dream, it's holocaustic, And it's not right, and now we've lost it Open curiosity, as your thighs Never had more time for seamless lies So don't wake up, we might just hope In your dreams, we may elope, And die in the arms of lovers foul We shall only hope that faith allows Falling, falling, Hear the rain upon my cheek And it's calling, calling, Never were one to be meek Shush now, don't tell anyone But there's smoke aside my gun And you're caught inside the net Don't you know I'd neve...
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Reviews
Ali ibn Husayn - is that a person? It was refreshing to see a religious poem which wasn't saturated with hate for non-believers. 'Listen… The Herald Gabriel? That name uttured…what does he see?' doesn't seem to flow well with the rest of the poem. 'Collect the morning damp'? Unclear.
Quotes
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your world punctured in the flash of a cape yet the strength of that wonder falls flat in the fac...
Locked
You missed a space. 'forevermore' is a bit wordy. 'evermore' or 'eternal' or 'forever' may have fitted better.
That was the single best ending of any song I've seen here on lyrics. The single repetition which is common in the song is pretty hard to pull off. Good job. Some grammar mistakes, but other than that, great song.
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