D_W_Pederson's profile
AGE:
59
LOC: Everett, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 20
LOC: Everett, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 20
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Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
Dairysville The soft glow of morning dawned over Dairysville Valley. Willard Freeman rested under a tall oak tree overlooking the valley. He loved the valley; every rock and flower, every book and stream. He loved the people of the valley too; each person had something to add to the whole community. You might say they all blended together like good soup. But most of all he loved the cows that grazed contently in valley and on the hills surrounding Dairysville. From his vantage point on the h...
Version 2
7 Reviews
0 Comments
Spider’s web The old man had been driving truck for over twenty years; to say that he had seen everything in his travels would have been an understatement. It was not surprising then that when he spied a spider’s web on the side mirror of his rig, he paid it very little notice. He was sure that after a few hard highway miles, the web would be shredded by the fierce winds passing over his rig. He climbed into the rig and headed down the highway. After man...
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Spider’s web The old man had been driving truck for over twenty years; to say that he had seen everything in his travels would have been an understatement, so when he spied the spiders web on the side mirror of his rig he paided just a passing notice to it. He was sure that after a few hard highway miles the web would be gone; shredded by the fierce winds passing over his rig. He climbed into the rig and headed down the highway. After many miles that day, he stopped for the night. Jus...
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Reviews
You have an exciting, descriptive writing style. This is a good start. It was a bit difficult to read because of formatting problems (not your fault) of the Urbis site. Just a couple minor things: still some spelling errors (realize, kilometers, realization, clairvoyance, mesmerizing). Be sure to check these before submitting. After reading this I feel more is needed. I’m not sure where you are going with it but keep working on the whole story. I would like to see if the rest is so compelling.
This is a very intriguing concept. It will be very interesting to see how you develop it.
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