DallasS's profile

DallasS avatar
AGE: 13
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 17

I love to write, Mrs. Necessary told me to do this… here I am…

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 2
1 Review   0 Comments
I looked at her smiling face, once again. We sang together, once again. You gave me everything I know, She's now a spirit, oh- How I feel it, With her golden wings, she comes to me, Singing from the tree, Singing from the tree, She comes to me. Keep your head up high she'd used to say. Don't look down, I'm always here to stay. I'll come back to you every day you'd say, one of them days, You weren't there. You stood out- you were everywhere, running through my head. I loved you like there was ...
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 Plus-button Clarity
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
 Means an elapse of time Nicolette Meets Washington “Ahhhhh!!!!!!!” You just heard me, Nicolette Jones, I’m an 8-year-old girl and I just read my mail and I’m going to-- wait for it—WASHINGTON!!!!!!!!!! I’ve won a contest and I am going to the political world, Washington, DC. I get to meet the one and only Secretary of State Mrs. Hillary Clinton. The invitation says that I get to bring my favorite invention, your probably wondering why Hillary Clinton want...
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Non-fiction / I Don't Remember
Version 1
1 Review   2 Comments
I Don't Remember! Those 3 little words made everyone on our school's Mock Trial team drop. This girl walked up to the witness stand, knowing her affadavit you can tell by her face, and looked that crowd in the eye and screamed "I don't remember!!" to the crowd when asked to answer questions from her affadavit, she was the  victim for crying out loud. Blatantly lying and cheating, this school made the top 2 at the competition. Everyone on our team makes fun of this silly hilario...
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Poetry / Pain
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Torn Between Two Worlds  What's up best friend? and... pssh!!! My Sweet Angel Face An end shall never come- A never stopping trend, How do I let it out? I feel the pain of love.
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / The One
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
With a Loving and Caring Soul- I think I've found it, Perfect friend- Best Friend- My Friend- The One
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Poetry / What are you?
Applause! I like it, very lengthy. Your voice and tone is absolutely great. I can sense and feel the anger when I read it aloud. I think this is a really good piece and could an attract and agent/publisher! I think you put two o's in too on accident in the 5th line. That's the only spelling/grammar error I see. I don't know what else to criticise. The you deprive yourself to get where, where other people... is a very strong line :)
Poetry / Idle Hearts
Wow. That's all I really could say. It's great. It's so powerful, I really enjoyed this piece and it's publishable. I usually nag on people about using a rhyme scheme because it's mostly forced rhyme but yours is perfect, it flows and seems like you meant for it to flow that way. :) your last line is killer. I would've used Romance Kills as the title. Criticism I would give for this is the first line seems off to me and the title thing. Definitely in my favorites with all 10s!!
Poetry / True Friends
I liked this. It was so cute haha.. It looks like forced rhyme though using the no other problems to wrestle.. is that your first thought or did you stick it in there as the only word it rhymed with? I kinda liked the chip and sister reference ;) in my favorites!
Short Story / Dick and Jane
I liked it. Funny. Really funny. Fithy is actually Filthy but ik you can't spell Miss Mini Taylor ;) It's a good piece though, I can see it extended to like 2-3 pages long show Dick and Jane's past.. i really hate the character names haha so criticism would be to change thoughs and extend it..
Haiku/Senryu / Luminescence
Ok- Publishable, I gave you a 1 because it's not as great for publishing Talent- your super talented and you know that. 7 Clarity- 10, I can totally picture it. Entertain- 7, good subject, you can go deeper Haiku- second line is 8 syllables or i would've given you 7. i liked the poem though, it's pretty, it's got a good tone. criticism- i would definitely change your 2nd line down to 7