Danes's profile

Danes avatar
AGE: 21
LOC: Lacey, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 14

Hey. My name is Shane Danisher,I have been writing poetry on and off for the last several years. I first found I had a talent for it in my freshman english class.I found out that my poems were good, so I decided to write some more. Poetry and writing have become my life, and it’s what I really want to do, write novels professionally, but I know what the chances of that are. So don’t be afraid to CONSTRUCTIVELY critique my work. I’m not afraid of criticism, but I know if i’m going to be published my works needs to be good. If you want to contact me outside of Urbis, you can contact me at Richard_cypher234@yahoo.com or look me up on myspace www.myspace.com/sh4n3d

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Items
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Gadeera
Version 2
4 Reviews   2 Comments
The city of Gadeera spread out before Ethan. The view was beautiful from up in the tower. The tall spirals of the belfry’s reaching for the sky contrasted the squatting buildings throughout the rest of the town. The sweet smell of fresh bread, the mouth-watering scent of cooked meat from the market, and the salty tang of the ocean all mixed in his nose; sending his stomach into bouts of distress. Ethan hadn’t eaten for days. The city was in danger; the Wizard’s Code made all wizard’s respons...
Ratings & Rankings
Novel Treatments / Novel Beginning
Version 1
18 Reviews   2 Comments
Alexander Helmsson hunted in the Forest of the Elden on one of the most memorable fall nights he’d ever seen in his sixteen years of life. The setting sun spread fiery red fingers across the sky lacing itself with the thin spindles of purple clouds. But the sunset wasn’t going to be the only memorable part. This was the beginning of an epic story that would be told for hundreds of years after. Alex stayed near the fringe of the forest for fear of the interior. He’d heard rumors about the fore...
Ratings & Rankings
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Gadeera
Version 1
16 Reviews   10 Comments
The city of Gadeera spread out before Ethan. It was beautiful from up here. The tall spirals on the towers reaching for the sky contrasted the squatting buildings throughout the rest city. People passed idly by each other, making small talk as they ran across people they recognized. The market had been open for a few hours and the tower Ethan stood in allowed the aromas to drift up to him. The sweet smell of fresh bread, the mouth-watering scent of cooked meat, and the salty tang of the ocea...
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Poetry / Cry Of A Heart
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
I miss the light of the dawn, The feel of dew, The fresh smell of morn’ that was once us. You let me live, helped me see the light, Now that you’ve gone, there is nothing left. You left me alone in the dark, You tore my heartstrings out, And you left my mind battered and broken. I’m left alone in the dark. My mind can’t take much more; you haunt my every moment, You live in my dreams; no longer are you real to me. I’m left alone in the dark. I’ve tried to forget, but you’re still here. How di...
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Short Story / Dark Wind
Version 1
6 Reviews   9 Comments
Sa’Ruul had come to the world. He’d passed between the demon realm to the realm of humans, his hunger for blood allowing him to pass through the barrier that had once separated them. Sa’Ruul was feared even by other demons for his bloodlust. Sa’Ruul resembled a human in shape. His fingers were blackened claws that were stained blood red on the tips; his eyes were hollows, black holes that drew your soul down into infinity. His mouth looked as if a dull knife had cut a hole where his mouth sh...
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Reviews
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Black Rose Chronicles : The Lost City of Chay-zz [Chapter One]
by Angela_N_Tharp
This first chapter needs several edits. You used the word fare where fair should have been. And you used past when passed should have been used, though past was correct once or twice. Overall the story has potential, but it needs more. Even with the explanation at the beginning of the new words, it'll take some getting used too. And it needs to be longer for a proper hook. I liked the story, but the typos and grammatical kept distracting me. As it stands at the moment, I don't think an agent ...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Don't Cry Wolf Chapters 11-15
by Kimbers
Very good. I was drawn into every moment of it. Its good you recognize that some revision that needs to be done because there are some spelling and grammar errors littered throughout the story, but for the most part its solid. The vampire/werewolf scenario isn't uncommon. But I do like the twists you put into it to make it something of its own. This doesn't seem like an attempt to ride one the coattails of the Twilight Series or shoulder in on the Underworld Series, even though either of thos...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Constellation: Afterlife-Chpt 1
by FrakKevin
There's a great build-up here and it really works toward building momentum. You've definitely got a diamond in the rough here. Your description at the beginning is a little convoluted, but I made my way through it. Other than that, I really like where this is going. you also did really well with adding in tidbits of information without taking the reader from the story itself. Like mentioning the Atmosphere sickness and how it happens. I look forward to reading more of this series.
Action Adventure / A Hard Place by Jacamo Peterson/2nd Excerpt
by Jacamo
Not so much action as suspense in this excerpt, but I loved it. Quite well done, i was drawn in from the first. the only hing i'd sugesst is that you work on it a bit. i'm sure you've heard of showing and teling in writing, and you are telling for most of the story my friend. Other than that, quite well done, and i look forward to more of your work! Shane
Short Story / Peacocks Like Children Screaming
by southernbaroque
Well. I liked the way the story was written, very....Harper Lee-ish. I also like how the protagonist was never described, and how June Star was always shown as a little...odd. You built the suspense surrounding her very well. I really liked it, not too fond of the ending, something about six year old girls committing suicide doesn't sit right. Good Job though. Shane.
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