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DarknessUnknown's profile
AGE:
16
LOC: Magnolia, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 01
LOC: Magnolia, OH
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 01
I am Tanner Evans, a sixteen-year-old writer/reader/poet from the rural-ness of Ohio. Until i was told so, I’d never really counted this place as rural, but I’ve experienced a definite culture shock upon entering smaller cities. I took a walk just today, and I looked around at this small hometown, and it amazed me how picturesque it was.
I have a passion for science fiction, and pretty much anything regarding science at all. Paired with an avid love for cryptic crosswords, a diminishing skill at sudoku, and the ease with which I sail through higher mathematics several years above my grade level, and you’d think I’d have a purely analytical mind.
It’s what I would have thought.
But, I break the mold, I suppose. I’m a lifelong rea…
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In the chasm there is clutter of the mind that causes stutter of the word that you try utter through the whisper of the wind, And the sound of so-slight whipping is as painful as one's hissing for the breath that won't come willing to the gasping of your lungs, Above your head the branches swaying look for only words betraying what you make attempts conveying to the person that you face, Pale ice shines with frost a-glisten, spinning duet of sweet vision, all around you such things listen to ...
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Version 1
13 Reviews
9 Comments
A flash--ignite! Burn the heavens! Tear that foul streak across the sky. Down here I stare up as it deadens, And I can't bring myself to cry. The spark implodes, a fate fulfilled, Humanity will learn to die. Expounded with mass murder, skilled, And I can't bring myself to cry. Somewhere here--the plea is distant-- Something weak is found to survive. Extinguished swift by rage persistent, And I can't bring myself to cry.
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Version 2
3 Reviews
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Vinkh waited for the resonant thud of the docking latches. Soon, he felt his ship lurch to a stop, an amazing achievement by the large, yellow space station that his small, red ship had just attached to, even given the differences in size. In space, inertia used to be a large problem. Luckily, this station was at the leading edge of inertial dampening science. That was, in fact, why he was here. His little red ship had done a few too many high-velocity orbits around anything with gravity, an...
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Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Vinkh waited for the resonant thud of the docking latches. Soon, he felt his ship lurch to a stop, an amazing achievement by the large, yellow space station that his small, red ship had just attached to, even given the differences in size. In space, inertia used to be a large problem. Luckily, this station was at the leading edge of inertial dampening science. That was, in fact, why he was here. His little red ship had done a few too many high-velocity orbits around anything with gravity, an...
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Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Vinkh ignored the thudding footfalls at his back. Returning to the room where he had ordered the upgrades for Sojourn, he was in time to see the installation crew step out of the hatch, and move down a separate hall. Glancing back at the two drones, Vinkh walked forward, and into his ship. Although Sojourn had room for two, it rarely needed more then one. Its NC-7 Class designation was a mark that meant it was small, but still able to traverse Star Systems. It contained several sections. The...
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Ah, 'Riss. I didn't even realize this was yours until I started reading it. Your structure could use a bit of work, in truth. It's too broken for my tastes. I like poetry that flows very well. This one's a bit hard to focus in on, and I had to pace a bit at your house while reading in order to get the tunnel vision sometimes required for absorption. Nevertheless, your message behind it is a good one, and you do well. But yes, grammar, punctuation, so forth. Definitely.
Lots of goals. I'll start by responding. After all, it's a question, and I skipped the poem in your notes fortunately so I do not know the answer. . . You do what is good, and you do what is right, it doesn't matter if it hurts. You've got yourself to answer to, and only yourself to blame if it doesn't work out. As a single entity, I myself, believe that the right road is almost always the painful one, but that makes it worth it in the end, even if you don't realize just how right you are. An...
This made me smile, as it bespeaks of a current friendship I'm in. Great job, there's a lot of truth in it. You know what you're talking about, and I love the last two lines.
It's hard to say how much I enjoyed that. It's a piece of writing that, like so few ever do, opens your mind and plays with a truth behind it that's so difficult to find. Your wording is absolutely wonderful, and the power you inject into each and every line never falters, and continually led me forward as I read. It pushed the envelope of space that my mind was currently occupying, and it challenged my mind to see what there is to be seen. Excellent. It bothers me only slightly that the line...
I liked it. Quite a bit. Your words hold meaning, and you haven't dragged it out too long. I may have to call you out on "wheeled," as it should be "wield," though. Scatter a few commas through there in the right places, and the meaning will come forward even more. I can't tell you how much improper grammar can negatively affect a piece. for people like me, it screams out at every little mistake. That said, I love the meaning behind it, and the less-than-constant stanza structure.
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