An interesting piece, dark, discriptive.. yet it is hard to know who the narrator is when it seems you change topic from insight to viewpoint. Yet overall I liked the piece. Perhaps becouse I've been there due to a loss of someone I cared deeply for and my life was empty for a long time thereafter.

time reveals all.. so ending line makes it feel like the dullness you feel will never end. Not sure I can agree with that. The poem states your innocents well and brings the reader close to feeling your lonelyness and loss. I could ask only that it be longer.

I saw and felt calm dreamy beauty well, after all it took up nearly the intire poem.. But a small child crying over breaking glass on a pothole ridden street, though contrasting, does not work to well. First: it is not clear . Second: in this dreamy discription of a town where complex road systems and flowers cover the hillside where the road rolls about; Where are you going to find the pothole ridden road? I suggest only that you improve clarity of second part

It is sad to be with someone and not be able to get along, But it happens. When I came home with a broken heart my father would smile and say "Don't worry there are plenty of fish in the sea." and he was right. Fishing is fun, it's romantic and exciting as should be the case with any lasting relationship The second thing I learned, I learned on my own. "Never get involved with someone who has more problems than you." A little food for thought. I won't get into your errors. I think you are awa...

I enjoyed the reverie, magic, and tranquility I felt while reading your words. I also live near the sea and wandered the shore line alone many a time adrift on ethereal waves. I have read others of similar vain,though many were good, yours stands out with its own touch of individuality. I have no critique of such a personal piece. It is, in my opinion well done.

It is a short piece, as such, each word must have significance.. I suggest dropping 'what' and 'an' from first line. Over does it.. too dreamy.. The comparison between mountains and molehills is cliche. But, if you are going to use it, use 'turning' rather than 'making', as well. I am sure Nixee was, or will be, pleased.

The quote has the wonderful touch of the spoken word. I can only wish it went on further in describing your world. To lose ones children due to drugs or some other unfortunate circumstance can leave a hole in ones life that is nearly impossible to come out of. I wish I could say I have not experienced this.. Beautiful and terrible Hugs, Den

Laughing, well that is one way to look at it.. Another would be An Artist paints a picture But a poet with his pen Gives a true impression Of the story there with As he delves benieth the surface For stories yet untold His pen creates an image From deep within his soul Have fun and keep lying if that is what you do.

I didn't understand the comparison between cause and a red head so lost perhaps the most important stanza.. But i have met guys and gals like that. Callus, thoughtless and oh so sure of themselves. Though I believe in self confidence and rarely date those with out it, I also believe in the theory that a door swings both ways.. i still believe in love with out reservation and don't expect anything in return.. Unless I was 24 i certainly would not think a girl of 41 is over the hill, 60-70...pe...

I like the repetition.. It works well and intensifies your meaning. I think many fear love, (including me) and except comfort and security in its place. Yet are left with the wonder.. If i had risked a little more, taken a little more time, been a little more confident, would I have found my soul mate and true love?